Do you recall that phrase, ‘if the cap fits then wear it’?

When I was about 11 years old, my father entered into a crazy business scheme with someone he met on holiday. Now my dad was ordinarily a very astute and intelligent businessman;  However, one year for some reason he forgot all reason when he became distracted and set up a joint venture in Southend and opened a bricks and mortar business - A Fishmongers!   

My father’s principle business was commercial land and property, and he was really good at this. He was an ace negotiator and had an uncanny ability to get people to people to like him and therefore to do business with him. He was magic at it. He would get the most stubborn landowners to hand over their parcel of land to him, where everyone else had failed.

But one thing he wasn’t very good at or didn’t particularly enjoy was working with the general public. He hated it.  He was one of the friendliest people I know, and loved meeting new people and had tons of friends.  But paradoxically he didn’t have the patience for people who weren’t on his wavelength. 

So why he moved in another direction is a mystery.

Not only that but he decided to introduce his 5 daughters into the fish trade as well! Ugh - I can still remember the smell of all that fish and how freezing cold it was! It was a bit of a novelty at first, but that soon wore off when I decided that I’d got frost bite from the bitterly cold wind blowing in from the North Sea.

Eventually the business failed and he lost a lot of money (and a good friendship); and he went back to doing what he did best - negotiate commercial property deals out of nowhere.

Sometimes we meet people along our pathway who mysteriously turn up when we’ve temporarily lost faith in our own ability. Then we leave our path and follow them in search of the Unicorn that they’ve promised us is just over the hill. They may appear to hold the key that will lead us to Nirvana - when in reality if we’d searched within the answer was with us all along. Several hills (and no Unicorn) later -we wake up to the reality that WE are the best judge of everything we do.

Even Alan Sugar had to admit in a recent profile about his life and work, that he took leave of his senses when he decided to buy Tottenham Hotspurs Football Club several years ago. His wife went berzerk when he told her. With hindsight he accepted that he’d made better decisions in his career. So we’ve all been there.

But sometimes - you need someone there to help you to get back on the path. Someone who doesn’t have their own agenda, someone who will let you work it all out and gain clarity, focus and complete understanding. Which is one of the reasons why I went into Coaching.

Think about this for a minute.  What would that be like for you to shut the door pick up the phone, switch off your mobile, tell everyone to go away and spend the next hour talking to your own coach about what’s REALLY on your mind?  And knowing that the person on the other end of the phone isn’t a nagging wife, a self indulgent girlfriend, an anxious mother, your mocking best friend, or your stressed out business partner who’s children have just gone down with measles. 

The most successful people eventually start working with a coach or a mentor.  I’d be lost without mine! 

But what would working with your own coach get for you? 
Click here to find out…

Warmest Regards

Wendy Dashwood-Quick

It was a prestigious event organised by the then PLA (Port Of London Authority), and as the evening wore on, it became clear that one club definitely had the edge over the competition and were on their way to glory - except that the fans of the opposing side had other ideas…

But the result would all come down to the last bout.

Despite most of the competitors hailing from very rough areas of London, I sat there awe struck - not just because they were all amazing physical specimens but because there was something else about them that really fascinated me. Their demeanour displayed such pride and confidence in themselves. They carried themselves like gods!

Both sides had hefty support in numbers, and as the final bout got underway the supporters became more vocal. It was when one side, sensing that their man might not take home the prize, that things turned ugly. Supporters from the losing camp completely lost their cool and rather than be sportsmanlike and adhere to the Marquess of Queensberry Rules, they took matters into their own hands. One threw a punch. Another got up and threw a chair. Then it was a table. With terrifying speed the whole place was in uproar and deteriorated into a mass brawl.

My boyfriend and I were pinned up against the side wall, but with the help of another spectator, he managed to deposit me onto the windowsill and out of harms way. So I stood and watched a whirlwind of bottles, fists and chairs flying around for 5 minutes. A frightening vortex of menace, blood and broken glass - until order was restored and the contest was awarded to the other side (who were going to win anyway, no surprises there).

It also takes your power away, and turns you into a victim rather than a victor and clouds your decision making. When the ‘red mist’ decends - it’s game over. But you can still stand head and shoulders over the competition even when you lose - because it’s how you handle the bad times as well as the good that counts. Because bad times are actually the training ground which provides the learning opportunities (masquerading as challenges) that prepare you for greatness!

Poor results are an opportunity to pause, reflect and examine where you might need to change your approach:-

• Disasters can be turned to your advantage if you look closely enough; to become incredible stories to share and inspire others.
  
• Disappointments could even opportunities to divert you onto a more profitable path
  
• Look for the positives in everything
  
• Conduct yourself like the winner everywhere you go even when things look bleak
  
• Be prepared to change directions, sometimes at short notice
  
• Gather a crowd of supporters around you who are with you through thick and think - not just when things are going well
  
• Give away praise and recognition to others even when there’s nothing in it for you

Need further inspiration? Download my free e-book “Ultrapreneurs Unplugged - What They Don’t Tell You About Building A Successful Micro Business” containing 96 pages of inspirational insights from entrepreneurs, interviews with successful entrepreneurs plus some useful tools and tips for the small business owner and entrepreneur.

Warmest regards

A mystery Careers Adviser has made another random appearance on the London to Norwich train from Liverpool Street Station.  The woman characterised by her striking red shoes and cheery nature, gave a copy of a ‘magic’ book to one of the commuters. 

Tom Tindall-Heart - Reinsurance Executive who works in London boarded the train home from Platform 18 at Liverpool St Station, after a night out with a few friends.  “I was a little worse for wear after a few drinks and I sat next to a very striking looking girl wearing the most amazing shoes!  I got talking to her about my job and how much I hated it, and ended up more or less telling her my life story.  She was so nice.  My heart just isn’t in my job any more.  I’ve been meaning to sort something out but just coulnd’t see the wood for the trees.  I’ve in a bit of a rut to be honest. 

I don’t quite know where she blew in from but she hopped off the train at Chelmsford - but not before she handed me a copy of a book “Discover Yourself On the Yellow Brick Road” and told me to read it straight away.  I took her advice and it’s definitely galvanised me into action!”

Other reports have come in describing similar brief encounters with the Mystery Careers Adviser.  One such person received help after her boss began to bully her at work.

Louisa Lyons - Graduate Accountant was on the London Underground talking to her sister about her bullying boss.  Louisa explains…”Yes my sister knows The Mystery Careers Adviser who told her about this book.  I was fed up with my boss pouring cold water over my ideas, and had frankly had enough of it.  My boss  ’The Witch’ has been ruining my life, so my sister suggested I get hold of a copy of this book.   My confidence was at an all time low, but I didn’t feel brave enough to stand up to her.  Yes, I know you can’t just wave a magic wand and hope it will all go away, but since ”Discover” I’ve had a bit of a breakthrough.    The Mystery Careers Adviser carries a little black dog around with her in a basket and is a real people person apparently”

Another sighting we’ve received came from Dan “Scarecrow” Burnside who lives somewhere in the South East.  He heard about her through his Doctor.

Dan - Successful Entrepreneur, visited his GP suffering with chronic stress.  “The penny dropped when my Doctor said I had to come off all the pills he’d prescribed to me.  All he did was hand me a copy of a book - which had mysteriously found it’s way into his hands.  I can only think that the Mystery Careers Adviser had something to do with it.  It was hard to admit that I have been the engineer of my own downfall.  Being so stressed, I just wasn’t thinking straight.  And  frankly it had knocked the stuffing out of me. But after reading the book and putting into action some of the strategies, I’m back on track and on fire!”

So, be on the look out for the Mystery Careers Adviser.  She’s in her twenties, attractive with dark hair and wears red sparkly shoes.  We don’t know what her name is.  She’s been known to engage in random acts of kindness by giving away a book which contains all her secrets.  We think there’s a bigger organisation behind her.

Further information on the ‘magic’ book can be found here…

Do you run your own business - and could you learn a thing or two from your counterparts who have been there, done that and bought the t-shirt?

I undertook a survey of Entrepreneurs and small business owners, which has highlighted 25 key areas most businesses struggle with.  These range from getting to grips with social media, cash flow problems, leadership challenges, time management, networking and sales.  The results of the survey I have incorporated into a new e-book “Ultrapreneurs Unplugged - What They Don’t Tell You About Building A Successful Micro Business”

With the UK economy still in the grip of recession, more people are dipping their toes into entrepreneurial waters.

Small and Micro businesses are the lifeblood of the UK economy. The UK’s 3.7 million SMEs account for approximately 40% of our GDP and have an annual turnover of one trillion pounds.  Mostly formed by individuals who initially set up a business from their spare bedroom or garage.  However, this isn’t without its challenges, particularly for individuals who’ve left the corporate ladder, were made redundant, or budding ‘mumpreneurs’. 

Some joined the ranks of the self employed later in life.  Some left University because they didn’t warm to the idea of being an employee, or preferred self employment because they wanted the freedom to create their own destiny. They took this path because they didn’t fancy the alternatives – e.g. living on a meagre pension, settling for a mediocre lifestyle or compromising on their values. 

However, some had little or no experience of running a business before they started, and found the journey very complex – against the relentless pace of change - despite being an exciting and liberating experience.

Of course you might not need this information and are quite happy with the strategy that you’re using already.  You might not have the time to explore everything that’s contained within my new e-book called  “Ultrapreneurs Unplugged – What They Don’t Tell You About Building A Successful Micro Business”. 

But then again, if you’re the kind of person who’s willing to sit up and take notice of what’s going on around you, learn from other peoples mistakes and borrow some strategies from some very successful people, then you would do well to take a look at this bumper e-book packed with over 200 insights taken from the survey.

I also interviewed four successful entrepreneurs who share their experiences, including Philip Hess of Senz who even went as far as jumping out of an aeroplane to test one of his products!

I am keen to demonstrate that in fact many of the challenges faced by owners of Micro businesses are common - and and such should provide a bit of a shot in the arm for  anyone currently finding the journey a challenge.

The results of my survey could become an invaluable resource for anyone either considering making the move to self employment, or who has been on this journey for some time and would like a ‘fly on the wall’ look at what their counterparts are doing, borrow some of their strategies and learn a few new ones. 

Click here to find out more and download the report. 

This PDF document contains  nearly 100 pages of incredibly valuable material.

Warmest regards

Wendy Dashwood-Quick

Executive Coach

Resolution Coaching

P.S.  If you liked this blog posting then please feel free to tell a friend or Tweet it for me so that more people can benefit from this information.  Thank You

Or how not to handle your staff during a crisis

Before my car was stolen one freezing January afternoon, I had quite a lot of respect for one boss I used to work for.  I thought he was a fair minded, well balanced decent bloke.  But I was wrong.

The theft of my car meant that I had to get a lift home, I was extremely upset and of course I had no transport or means of getting to work.

The journey to work the next day took two train journeys plus it was the middle of winter, and minus 3 degrees.  Now for reasons known only to my boss, he chose to wait in his office for my arrival the next morning.

He confronted me in his office and asked me why I was late, and when I gave my reasons he read me the riot act and announced -  “I don’t care what’s going on in your personal life!  Your job is to get here for 8.30 in the morning.  Get yourself another car!” 

Of course I handled it beautifully – I completely lost it and accused him of being totally insensitive and thoughtless.  Then he marched me into my office  and told me to calm down while he went and called the HR Manager to convene a hastily arranged formal “warning”, saying that I was behaving like a ‘fish wife’ by ranting on at him.  Then he locked the door and didn’t come back for an hour!  A rather medieval approach to man management I thought.

I was baffled.  My boss was clearly off his rocker, but little did I realise that this was the beginning of a long campaign to bully me out of my job.  It would be a long and very tense 12 months as he pulled every trick out of the book to ‘engineer’ a reason to get me fired.  It was scarey.

With hindsight of course I have my own views on that, which I won’t share here, suffice it to say that I am surprised he’s still walking around.  And I definitely should have taken legal advice. 

But  my point here is that handling staff could for some managers be unchartered territory.  And in some situations you may find that any demonstration of emotion may be a bit scary and like a rebellion, must be crushed to a pulp immediately; because in some institutions emotion has no part to play in corporate life, as it’s seen as weakness and a threat to the status quo.

But the truth is, we are all human and sometimes “shit happens”.  But how do you handle someone who’s probably not operating at 100% because of one or two things going on in their life,  which could temporarily affect their performance or their attitude? 

Do you right them off and get rid of them asap?  What if you used another approach like coaching them?  Granted they might leave of their own accord because they are clearly in the wrong role; or  you could work on their training, performance and self development and thus turn them into a bit of a star.  The complete win/win.

Of course this may never happen to you, and your staff may never cause you any problems, but just in case they do here are a few guidelines:-

1. If a crisis has loomed in their life, first ask questions and get the facts about the situation
2. Be supportive and don’t make assumptions or judge them prematurely
3. Work at finding a solution by using proper protocols and staff grievance procedures
4. Be careful how you handle potentially sensitive or volatile situations, because  if things take a turn for the worse and your member of staff walks out – this could back fire badly on you later.  I was systematically bullied out of my job and received zero support from the management team.  I should have taken legal advice but chose not to.  If you are not following employment law guidelines or at the very least have taken some advice on HR/Health and Safety policies and procedures you could land in hot water.
5. Treat people with respect.  Handling staff can be really tough, but accept that people do make mistakes or go off the rails occasionally.  Think “the problem is the problem, not the person”
6. Think about providing some coaching or mentoring - so rather than trying to fix a ‘problem’ person - look at ways to enhance their performance and turn them into an asset rather than a liability
7. If a member of staff is experiencing temporary personal difficulties – (i.e. having their car stolen by a maverick ex-partner for instance) just let them go home and get themselves sorted out. 
8.  Trust that they will be thankful for your faith and belief in them and return the favour with loyalty and commitment

Now, unfortunately my boss  lost a golden opportunity to do the decent thing for another human being. 

Which is basically why I went into the coaching business.  At the end of the day performance and bad management is all down to the same thing – behaviour and how you handle the situation.  Think in every interaction with someone else you are always 51% responsible.  It’s a two way street.

I’m knee deep in creating a special report “The Accidental Entrepreneur -  200 things I wish I’d known when I started my business” which contains the results of a short survey of entrepreneurs and the challenges they have face when starting their businesses – which includes handling staff. 

Hear what they have to say when this is published next month.

Warmest regards

Wendy Dashwood-Quick

Focus Your Mind With A Ritual

When I was a teenager I went on a fruit picking holiday in Cambridgeshire, along with around 100 other students from all over the world.  It was  exhausting but hilarious.  The opportunity to meet people from different cultures was smashing;  including an Italian called Max.  Now he performed a very bizarre ritual every evening before he went to sleep, and of course the girls in our group were fascinated by him…

The male and female students were housed in separate accommodation blocks, and according to reports from the boys in our group, each evening before Max went to sleep he would stand at the foot of his bed with a dagger between his teeth and mutter something completely incomprehensible in Italian and then leap head first onto his bed.  The dagger was then ceremoniously placed under his pillow.    Some might say that he was suffering with a compulsive disorder of some description, or that he was slightly crazy.  But the girls in our group (of course) thought he was dead cool.  Although perhaps the boys thought he was far too racy for the delicate English roses in our party so we never did get a look at him (annoyingly).

But he definitely was a bit of a folk hero and one of the lads.  And of course he got landed with the nickname “Mad Max”.

Now I am not for one moment encouraging you to do something quite as eccentric as this, and there could well have been a very disturbing history behind Max’s behaviour.  However, sometimes rituals do have a very important part to play in some people’s lives, particularly if it helps to focus their minds, maintain discipline and keep their resolve. 

Some people practice Tai Chi every morning, chant, walk the dog, skip, or do 20 pressups.  Some sportsmen and women are quite obsessive about their sports kit and carry out a very meticulous routine or ritual before every match.   I once had a friend who would always wear the same socks, and prepare for a squash match in exactly the same way.  

Some rituals promote a feeling of calmness and wellbeing, and the production of seratonin in the brain which reduces stress as well as sharpening up the mind. 

I’ve been a cellist for the best part of 20 years, and before I perform in a concert I always wear the same dress, the same shoes, the same earings and have a very structured routine to prepare myself.  This helps me to get into ‘the zone’.  For me this is purely because the difference between a rehearsal and a concert ‘performance’ is that the music is played just once, and then that’s it!  If you miss your cue you can’t go back and do it again.  AND with some pieces of music you may not get to see or play that piece again for sometimes 10 years!  So you really don’t want to make a mistake or miss the moment.

So, over to you.  Do you have any rituals in your life that help focus your mind?   I know that working with a task list is something I can’t do without and if my desk gets too cluttered, I go into overwhelm. 

 How does having a ritual or a clear routine help you and what happens when you don’t bother with it?

Until next time

Happy Hunting

Wendy

Image Courtesy of Google Images 2009

I have a confession.  I really shot myself in the foot when I wrote a self development book for the British market; because let’s be honest, the majority of the UK population (unlike our American cousins) don’t ‘do’ self development.

That’s why we invented boxing, rugby and Millwall on a Saturday afternoon.

The British have their own version of self development which we call ‘the stiff upper lip’, the Charge of the Light Brigade, Polar Explorers and heroes courageously changing the world with one hand tied behind their back, and still home for tea at 5.00 o’clock; and all without breaking into a sweat! 

The stiff upper lip has been in our blood for centuries - but the big flaw in this strategy in this - it creates problems somewhere else, later on.

Take Queen Elizabeth I for example.  She led a nation, devoted herself to reform, had the mind of a political genius, and saw off The Spanish Armada. Even when hearing that her former lover and life long friend Rober Dudley - Earl of Leicester  had suddenly died - she sank to the stone floor of her bed chamber and lay there alone for three days and wept, and ate or drank nothing.

The average Brit doesn’t need any ‘help’ thanks.  Perhaps its centuries of invations, plagues and wars.

Even Brits abroad don’t really enjoy themselves - instead what do they do?  They end up having a punch up and get thrown into prison.  OK OK, not necessarily your Auty Sylvia, but I think you know what I mean.

So, why did I write a book for a nation that isn’t into navel gazing or introspection?  Talking to a ‘professional’ about your problems is something that we Brits don’t even tell the family cat about, and definitely not your best mates.

Whereas over the pond - nearly everyone has their own Coach, Psychotherapist, or Psychiatrist. 

Over here instead we do 20 pints of lager and a packet of crisps or ‘Retail therapy’.  But underneath the calm British cool; somewhere underneath the manic over achieving workaholic is something called ‘feelings’.

We’ve spent eons running away from our feelings and pretending everything’s absolutely okay in a kind of Monty Python comic way.

But eventually for some people their strategy for coping by NOT letting their feelings show will eventually become an even bigger problem.

The retail therapy leads to debt, the binge drinking leads to liver failure or obesity and the denial of what was once a young man’s dream soon turns into a life of meaningless compromise and a stomach ulcer.

So, I couldn’t write a book telling everyone to just be positive, when a millenia of conditioning has taught the British to be ready for the invasion, death, pestillence and the Blitz!  Being sensitive, tender and caring just isn’t the way its done.  It’s just not cricket is it Carstairs!?

So, I’ve gone via the back door and told three stories of  characters who aren’t having a great time, don’t wake up ready to hit the gym after they’ve drank a pint of pulped seaweed whilst reading that book about goal setting.

The average brit wants reality before they can get to believe that something good’s coming.  Which is precisely what my book is all about.

So, if you’re a Brit reading this and don’t do ‘Self Improvement’ and think its for softies.  Listen up - the people it’s written for aren’t soft.

They’re striving with everything they have - but have hit a brick wall whilst getting there.  That brick wall was created because of their own behaviour, programming and beliefs.  Sooner or later many of us face this challenge.  

However the characters in my book have decided to let their guard down just far enough to let some ideas through, which could in the end be the perfect antidote to their challenges; And in so doing end the pain, save them time, precious energy (and the occasional relationship) along the way and GET CONSCIOUS about what they’re doing - it might just be worth a look.

“Discover Yourself On the Yellow Brick Road” might sound like it’s a book for children - when actually it contains some real sensible, practical and inspirational stuff - and it’s one of the easiest and most straightforward books you will ever read.

Follow the link here to read a sample chapter…

 According to an entrepreneur there are two types of people in the world – Entrepreneurs and ‘The Others’, and the problem with ‘The Others’ is this:-

“Into the dream you came, and across the soft carpet of my reverie you walked. With hobnail boots…”

This may resonate with an entrepreneur who has been misunderstood or maligned, because ‘The Others’ may accuse an entrepreneur of being selfish, obsessive, geeky, ever so slightly weird and focussed to the point of ruthlessness.  The term ‘The Others’ came from a conversation I had with a dedicated entrepreneur Paul Gunter    www.paul-gunter.com.  But like most entrepreneurial men and women, he believe its ‘The Others’ who need to ‘get with the programme’. 

Entrepreneurs are able to make huge sacrifices to achieve their objectives and compartmentalise chunks of their lives while an idea has gripped them by the throat, in their quest to become creative trailblazers at the cutting edge.  Inevitably they frequently leave lesser mortals standing in their wake and are the driving force behind enterprise and innovation.

Now this could lead to some challenging conversations, especially if a significant person in your life happens to be an entrepreneur.  And I know because my Dad was one.  My mother’s life in consequence was occasionally desperate, sometimes challenging, frequently very glamorous but never boring.

Unique and incomparable, an entrepreneur can overcome massive setbacks and “press on regardless”.  They are made of a special kind of metal; steel tempered in the flame which is cool to the touch, but to ‘the others’ is red hot.  So don’t get too close or you’ll get your fingers burnt.

The entrepreneurial mind never really sleeps; hardly rests and even if it does it’s alert for another idea, another opportunity which for the average person could be exhausting.  An entrepreneur ‘sees’ opportunities other people can’t. They ‘believe’ in ideas and concepts with a fervent enthusiasm which is baffling to the average Joe Soap.  For example, they will be the ones scribbling some notes on a napkin in a restaurant then hot-foot it back to HQ to put another blueprint into action, before the person with them has had time to tuck into their cheese and biscuits.

Occasionally an entrepreneur may appear to drift off and not be paying attention, until you’re forced to ask “have you even listened to a word I’ve said?!”  It’s nothing personal – they are sometimes literally on another planet.

My father’s entrepreneurial streak was always close by.  I have memories of the whole family travelling half way across the country just to eat a picnic on a piece of land my dad had earmarked for a commercial development.  He even once left me and my four kid sisters in a playground in Lisbon to amuse ourselves so he could attend a meeting. 

He was insatiably curious about everything, which was taken to extremes.  He had a telephone extension installed in every room of our house (even the downstairs cloakroom), so he wouldn’t miss a call. 

Entrepreneurs define their lives according to their own code and frequently ignore advice.  To them a mistake is a ‘learning experience’.  They lavish admiration on anyone whose achievements outshine theirs, and seek to emulate the movers and shakers in their industry on a never ending quest to improve and advance.

They eagerly await the next experience, and soon tire of the predictable and the pedestrian.  The more progress they make, the bigger their ambition and ability to live their life on their own terms becomes. 

Their strength and inner resourcefulness is inspirational to the enlightened beings who exist on the perimeter, but to ‘The Others’ e.g. anyone with no drive, ambition or courage at all, this could be perceived as selfish neglect.  An entrepreneur is not prepared to assign the direction of their life into anyone else’s hands.  To them life is always a question of “let’s make it happen!” or “what if??” or “how does that work?” and are prepared to wake up, step up and demand more. 

Sometimes the entrepreneurial gene can lie dormant for years and is only activated through adversity – so you don’t have to be born like it.

It’s also the ultimate weapon of self preservation, which is why a HUGE number of entrepreneurs were dyslexic underachievers at school – but still won through in the end.  It can also become a positive channel for delinquent energy, which otherwise might lead to a prison sentence or self destruction.

So, if you’re in close proximity to an entrepreneur – here’s a suggestion – don’t trample on, or pour cold water over, their ideas.  They are a force of nature – a tidal wave – so catch the energy, enjoy the experience or get out of the way…

When the CEO decided to allow the male employees of the company I worked for to participate in the annual girl’s Rounder’s tournament (because secretly he wanted to win) - this news was greeted very enthusiastically by the boys, who all rushed to join in.  The opportunity to show off, impress and compete was an chance not to pass up. 

As the captain I put together a team to enter the tournament; and eventually the talk in the pub at lunchtime turned to who had the best hand-eye coordination (i.e. could anyone ACTUALLY hit the ball?).

One chap confidently and  proudly informed us that at school he was a marvel and had no problems in despatching the ball into the next county, and was up for the challenge!

So we met up for our first practise session and our champion batsman stepped forth and prepared to bat, with me standing behind him as backstop.  Now, for that particular season we were fortunate that our bowler played at county level, and trained me to stand really close to the batsman so that if he or she missed the ball,  it would literally land straight into my hands.  However, she bowled so fast I had to wear padded gloves to cushion the impact. 

Our gallant Champion batsman stepped forth to prepare…and that was when I made a really big mistake.  I was so carried away by his past tales of glory that I forgot what my job was.  I forgot that the ball would be hurtling towards me at 90 mph, after it left the hands of our demon bowler.  Instead I was focussing on the bat.

The Demon bowler bowled - Batsman missed…and

Because I was looking at the BAT and NOT the BALL - the ball smacked me in the face full pelt.  I fell to the ground, saw stars and was convinced I’d gone blind, feeling really stupid and actually rather annoyed with him for not delivering the goods!

Who here can put their hand on their heart and honestly say that at some point whilst running their business they’ve never been approached by a wise man bearing gifts and been lured away from their core purpose?

 And did you discover months later that had you applied more effort and focus on what you were already doing, you’d have achieved far more instead of being distracted or seduced by something sparkly and new?

And did you feel angry at them for letting you down, and furious with yourself for taking your eye off the ball in the first place?

And did the reality of that hit you smack in the face with the realisation that you’d just wasted 6 months on a fruitless exercise?  What’s your experience and what did you do? 

Were you distracted by some inducement or get rich scheme which in fact wasn’t any better than what you were doing already? 

Relax, it’s happened to everyone.  And most of us are sadder and wiser after the event.

Here’s a top tip for next time you are faced with temptation to abandon what you’re doing in favour of something else.  Remember if you take on too much you are in danger of straying into Arthur Daley territory, galloping after the latest fad, whilst neglecting the one thing that you’d already invested a lot of time and energy in - and upon which is built your reputation.  Being a jack of all trades waters down your credibility and then others get confused about what you actually represent.  Your presence and power is diminished; because others will question what you STAND for.

If you’re in two minds about an enticing new opportunity - run the idea past your CORE PURPOSE first and ask yourself - is it the END RESULT that you’re chasing?  Does it fit with what you’re  already doing? Have you considered whether the vehicle you’ve chosen to move towards your objectives is the right one or if you’ll even enjoy the journey (and the view).

Your success is as a direct result of the choices you make - so take responsibility for the choice.  Sometimes there is merit in staying on target before you lose interest or momentum with what you are already doing; because you never know - the fire you’ve been nurturing and tending so patiently and diligently could eventually catch light…

The Answer Could Be Staring You In The Face Every Morning…

There was a time when I used to wonder how to bring people around to my way of thinking more quickly? I’d sit there desperate to point out my astute and incredibly incisive observations which everyone else had completely overlooked. This would happen time and time again. I’d sit there thinking, “I have a solution, but nobody’s paying attention to me!” But I could never quite articulate my thoughts in a way that made any impact at all.

So I began to look more closely at this whole subject of persuasion, for example at networking, selling and presenting. In fact I realised that I had to re-evaluate the impact I was making on people. Eventually the penny dropped.  The powerful cocktail that was required to “knock ‘em dead” included the clothes that I was wearing, but also my use of language, and how I used my voice. Plus my confidence levels (or how I was feeling) were reflected in my body language, so I needed to at least look confident even if sometimes I didn’t exactly feel like that.

I’ve gradually amassed various skills which have made a massive difference to the way people treat and perceive me. So start watching and learning from other great speakers and presenters.   Because it’s the way your message is delivered which makes such a gigantic difference to how it is received. You only have to listen to George Clooney talking you’ll know exactly what I mean. He starts to speak and you are hooked. But that’s not the entire picture.

It’s a combination of how you look, how you feel, how you’ve prepared and the way your message is conveyed.

Communication is an art form which combines to influence how your audience receives your message. Of course the path to developing your skills involves a certain element of risk; the risk of making a fool of yourself or putting yourself in the firing line. You must be willing to do this, because the only other option open to you is to do nothing and stay exactly where you are and not be taken seriously.

Don’t we all love good storytellers who use their voice like a musical instrument. They know all about contrast, pitch, tone and warmth. It’s no accident that the French and Italians are perceived as so attractive and seductive. Wouldn’t you agree that even hearing something as mundane as a train timetable read by a Frenchman is so much more enticing? Frankly, you hear the voice and you’re done thinking. Instead, you’re probably not even listening to the words they are saying. Their charming voice has disarmed you, and thus you’ve become a friendly audience for them – giving them a chance to be heard and understood more quickly. Communication, both verbal and non verbal, can be learned just like any other skill.

Let’s use music as an example. I took up the cello at the ge of 11 and worked my way up to Grade 7 by the time I as 21. Of course mastering all the techniques to become a great cellist takes time and I am far from that. However as my technique grew my ability to sway my audience intensified. Sitting amongst the cello section of  Symphony Orchestra comprising 8 cellos all playing in harmony with each other is possibly one of the most blissful experiences I have ever had. And if that isn’t transferred to the audience in a very intense way, I’d be very surprised.

And it’s the same with human interaction. The combination of the clothes you wear, a compelling voice, the words you use and your body language are an intoxicating mix in the right hands.

These elements say more about you than anything written on a piece of paper, a degree or in a CV.

Have you ever sat listening to dreary presentations that did a better job than heavy-duty tranquillisers?  The presenter missed a big opportunity to influence you, because you (by then) were possiblymore interested in the tea and biscuits that in anything they had to say.

Allow others to get a glimpse of your unique qualities and personality by firstly packaging yourself more attractively, so that your audience starts to care about what you’re saying. People do judge a book by its cover and if you’ve packaged all the elements of yourself effectively your presentation or the key job interview will get the reception you desire.