Have you pushed yourself so hard on the road to succcess that you are on the point of burning out? Have you experienced a health scare, but your lifestyle and way of doing things is so second nature, that you have no idea how you are going to change…?

Are you like Dan ‘Scarecrow’ Burnside who found himself at the Doctors one morning when he’d been given a wake up call?

He sat facing the locum at the Doctor’s Surgery. His usual GP was absent today, but the man sitting before him looked strangely familiar, in fact he was probably the happiest and jolliest Doctor he’d ever met in his life. He read the nameplate on the desk which read ‘Dr. M. Unchkin’. He was so short Dan could barely see him over the desk, as the Doctor read out the roll-call of stress related ailments that Dan was suffering with – IBS, High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol and he had recently added eczema and a stomach ulcer to the list.

Dan was constantly hyped-up and ‘wired’. Paradoxically however, he was very successful and actually thrived on stress until very recently. Because success came at a price. The trouble was there were only 24 hours in a day and he was constantly running around like a headless chicken. Dan worked extremely hard but he regularly missed meals, rarely took any time off and frequently over committed himself.

This was beginning to affect his health, his behaviour and his relationships. In fact, he had started to realise that if he didn’t stop and take stock, he would burn out altogether and his marriage would be in ruins. Dan was literally coming apart at the seams. His chaotic lifestyle was reflected in his out of control blond hair and appearance, even though he only wore the most expensive suits and bought ludicrously expensive shoes.

The Doctor continued, “Now, Mr Burnside, I’ve looked at your notes for the past six years and it’s becoming increasingly evident that it’s a lifestyle thing. You need to get a grip on your stress levels, because I’m not going to prescribe any more drugs. To be honest with you, they wouldn’t do you any favours anyway. “ “Oh,” thought Dan. “So what are you going to do for me instead?” he asked.  

• Dan had to admit that he struggled with his time management.

• He found it hard to delegate, ask for help and say no to anyone’s demands.

• He enjoyed taking on the whole world with one hand tied behind his back, and still be home in time for tea!

His success was reflected in the car, the bank account and the big house. However, he knew that he must learn to use his head to work out a new strategy otherwise he could lose everything, there wasn’t enough time to stop and think these days!

Find out what happens to Dan and what he did to change his lifestyle and improve his health in my new book “Discover Yourself On the Yellow Brick Road - 7 Core Principles of Career Success” click here to find out more…

“I have read so many self-help, motivational and coaching books during my career and it takes a lot these days for me to put my hands in my pocket and add to my book collection, but ‘Discover Yourself on the Yellow Brick’ road is brilliant. “  Gail Smirthwaite     - Golf Mind Guru

“In the busy world we live in where the ‘to do’ list is always way too ambitious this book really gives you a moment to take stock and really think. It asks questions that you may squirm at answering but it does genuinely give you a fresh insight into what makes you tick.

“For someone who rarely reads books like this it was like a stroll by the sea on a beautiful day - deeply satisfying, inspiring and invigorating.”

Gail Clark  - The Marketing Specialist 

  

Image Courtesy of Flickr (c)

Ever heard that phrase - “pride goes before a fall”?  Meaning that sometimes we find it really difficult to admit that we’re wrong when in fact we should listen to our guides and mentors - people who are familiar with the terrain.  But there’s one thing worse that being too proud - it’s being ignorant of the facts upon which you can make an informed  and intelligent choice…

One of things that I have had to admit on my own personal entrepreneurial journey - is admitting that I don’t have all the answers; And in the beginning I definitely made loads of mistakes because I lacked skill in many areas - OK I will now hold my hand up and say that I lacked so many skills it was frightening! Even Peter Jones admits to being terrified when he started his business working from a tiny little office all on his own.

I made errors through ignorance of the facts. Deep down I knew this of course. But I was afraid to admit this and to ask for advice. I felt that if I admitted I didn’t know something that it would make me look stupid, and my crediblity would go out of the window.

The trouble with that approach of course is that mistakes could have fatal consequences for your business - loss of revenue could cause your business to bleed to death, your reputation could be scarred forever and ignorance also wastes loads of time.

 The problem with trying to do it all on your own (for fear of looking a failure) is that you make even more mistakes; it destroys your self confidence and creates anxiety which can paralyse your thinking.   You could be swimming in the ocean and dynamically interacting with lots of other fish, being dazzled by sea horses and rays, instead of being eaten alive by the sharks.  

Or if you choose to stay in your safe little pond where nothing much happens for instance,  you are in danger of  only hearing one voice - your own.   You may have control - but the scope for growth is almost non-existent. This could happen to you if you’ve made a good start with your business, but somewhere along the line, things have started to go wrong. The recession is a case in point; did it take a big bite out of your profits last year? 

If you’ve got a nagging feeling that thing’s just aren’t right, then it is important to notice this, pay attention and consider getting some mentoring or coaching.  Because if you are ignorant of a few things and aren’t prepared to do some investigation or get some feedback, you are leaving yourself open to random chance events, which could come out of the blue and might literally cost you an arm and a leg.

Could the shallow waters of the uninformed be a death trap?

Don’t make assumptions. You need to get real, bravely step forth and do something different, which will ultimately lead you to safer waters. In other words…don’t wait for change to be forced upon you, or wait for the next shark attack.  You need be proactive about things and be armed with the harpoon of knowledge and expertise, for your next fishing expedition. You must search for the tributary that leads to the ocean where bigger and more experienced fisherman are waiting to help you.

Fail fast, fail often and success cannot elude you…

Until next time

Warmest Regards

Wendy Dashwood-Quick

Do you recall that phrase, ‘if the cap fits then wear it’?

When I was about 11 years old, my father entered into a crazy business scheme with someone he met on holiday. Now my dad was ordinarily a very astute and intelligent businessman;  However, one year for some reason he forgot all reason when he became distracted and set up a joint venture in Southend and opened a bricks and mortar business - A Fishmongers!   

My father’s principle business was commercial land and property, and he was really good at this. He was an ace negotiator and had an uncanny ability to get people to people to like him and therefore to do business with him. He was magic at it. He would get the most stubborn landowners to hand over their parcel of land to him, where everyone else had failed.

But one thing he wasn’t very good at or didn’t particularly enjoy was working with the general public. He hated it.  He was one of the friendliest people I know, and loved meeting new people and had tons of friends.  But paradoxically he didn’t have the patience for people who weren’t on his wavelength. 

So why he moved in another direction is a mystery.

Not only that but he decided to introduce his 5 daughters into the fish trade as well! Ugh - I can still remember the smell of all that fish and how freezing cold it was! It was a bit of a novelty at first, but that soon wore off when I decided that I’d got frost bite from the bitterly cold wind blowing in from the North Sea.

Eventually the business failed and he lost a lot of money (and a good friendship); and he went back to doing what he did best - negotiate commercial property deals out of nowhere.

Sometimes we meet people along our pathway who mysteriously turn up when we’ve temporarily lost faith in our own ability. Then we leave our path and follow them in search of the Unicorn that they’ve promised us is just over the hill. They may appear to hold the key that will lead us to Nirvana - when in reality if we’d searched within the answer was with us all along. Several hills (and no Unicorn) later -we wake up to the reality that WE are the best judge of everything we do.

Even Alan Sugar had to admit in a recent profile about his life and work, that he took leave of his senses when he decided to buy Tottenham Hotspurs Football Club several years ago. His wife went berzerk when he told her. With hindsight he accepted that he’d made better decisions in his career. So we’ve all been there.

But sometimes - you need someone there to help you to get back on the path. Someone who doesn’t have their own agenda, someone who will let you work it all out and gain clarity, focus and complete understanding. Which is one of the reasons why I went into Coaching.

Think about this for a minute.  What would that be like for you to shut the door pick up the phone, switch off your mobile, tell everyone to go away and spend the next hour talking to your own coach about what’s REALLY on your mind?  And knowing that the person on the other end of the phone isn’t a nagging wife, a self indulgent girlfriend, an anxious mother, your mocking best friend, or your stressed out business partner who’s children have just gone down with measles. 

The most successful people eventually start working with a coach or a mentor.  I’d be lost without mine! 

But what would working with your own coach get for you? 
Click here to find out…

Warmest Regards

Wendy Dashwood-Quick

It was a prestigious event organised by the then PLA (Port Of London Authority), and as the evening wore on, it became clear that one club definitely had the edge over the competition and were on their way to glory - except that the fans of the opposing side had other ideas…

But the result would all come down to the last bout.

Despite most of the competitors hailing from very rough areas of London, I sat there awe struck - not just because they were all amazing physical specimens but because there was something else about them that really fascinated me. Their demeanour displayed such pride and confidence in themselves. They carried themselves like gods!

Both sides had hefty support in numbers, and as the final bout got underway the supporters became more vocal. It was when one side, sensing that their man might not take home the prize, that things turned ugly. Supporters from the losing camp completely lost their cool and rather than be sportsmanlike and adhere to the Marquess of Queensberry Rules, they took matters into their own hands. One threw a punch. Another got up and threw a chair. Then it was a table. With terrifying speed the whole place was in uproar and deteriorated into a mass brawl.

My boyfriend and I were pinned up against the side wall, but with the help of another spectator, he managed to deposit me onto the windowsill and out of harms way. So I stood and watched a whirlwind of bottles, fists and chairs flying around for 5 minutes. A frightening vortex of menace, blood and broken glass - until order was restored and the contest was awarded to the other side (who were going to win anyway, no surprises there).

It also takes your power away, and turns you into a victim rather than a victor and clouds your decision making. When the ‘red mist’ decends - it’s game over. But you can still stand head and shoulders over the competition even when you lose - because it’s how you handle the bad times as well as the good that counts. Because bad times are actually the training ground which provides the learning opportunities (masquerading as challenges) that prepare you for greatness!

Poor results are an opportunity to pause, reflect and examine where you might need to change your approach:-

• Disasters can be turned to your advantage if you look closely enough; to become incredible stories to share and inspire others.
  
• Disappointments could even opportunities to divert you onto a more profitable path
  
• Look for the positives in everything
  
• Conduct yourself like the winner everywhere you go even when things look bleak
  
• Be prepared to change directions, sometimes at short notice
  
• Gather a crowd of supporters around you who are with you through thick and think - not just when things are going well
  
• Give away praise and recognition to others even when there’s nothing in it for you

Need further inspiration? Download my free e-book “Ultrapreneurs Unplugged - What They Don’t Tell You About Building A Successful Micro Business” containing 96 pages of inspirational insights from entrepreneurs, interviews with successful entrepreneurs plus some useful tools and tips for the small business owner and entrepreneur.

Warmest regards

A mystery Careers Adviser has made another random appearance on the London to Norwich train from Liverpool Street Station.  The woman characterised by her striking red shoes and cheery nature, gave a copy of a ‘magic’ book to one of the commuters. 

Tom Tindall-Heart - Reinsurance Executive who works in London boarded the train home from Platform 18 at Liverpool St Station, after a night out with a few friends.  “I was a little worse for wear after a few drinks and I sat next to a very striking looking girl wearing the most amazing shoes!  I got talking to her about my job and how much I hated it, and ended up more or less telling her my life story.  She was so nice.  My heart just isn’t in my job any more.  I’ve been meaning to sort something out but just coulnd’t see the wood for the trees.  I’ve in a bit of a rut to be honest. 

I don’t quite know where she blew in from but she hopped off the train at Chelmsford - but not before she handed me a copy of a book “Discover Yourself On the Yellow Brick Road” and told me to read it straight away.  I took her advice and it’s definitely galvanised me into action!”

Other reports have come in describing similar brief encounters with the Mystery Careers Adviser.  One such person received help after her boss began to bully her at work.

Louisa Lyons - Graduate Accountant was on the London Underground talking to her sister about her bullying boss.  Louisa explains…”Yes my sister knows The Mystery Careers Adviser who told her about this book.  I was fed up with my boss pouring cold water over my ideas, and had frankly had enough of it.  My boss  ’The Witch’ has been ruining my life, so my sister suggested I get hold of a copy of this book.   My confidence was at an all time low, but I didn’t feel brave enough to stand up to her.  Yes, I know you can’t just wave a magic wand and hope it will all go away, but since ”Discover” I’ve had a bit of a breakthrough.    The Mystery Careers Adviser carries a little black dog around with her in a basket and is a real people person apparently”

Another sighting we’ve received came from Dan “Scarecrow” Burnside who lives somewhere in the South East.  He heard about her through his Doctor.

Dan - Successful Entrepreneur, visited his GP suffering with chronic stress.  “The penny dropped when my Doctor said I had to come off all the pills he’d prescribed to me.  All he did was hand me a copy of a book - which had mysteriously found it’s way into his hands.  I can only think that the Mystery Careers Adviser had something to do with it.  It was hard to admit that I have been the engineer of my own downfall.  Being so stressed, I just wasn’t thinking straight.  And  frankly it had knocked the stuffing out of me. But after reading the book and putting into action some of the strategies, I’m back on track and on fire!”

So, be on the look out for the Mystery Careers Adviser.  She’s in her twenties, attractive with dark hair and wears red sparkly shoes.  We don’t know what her name is.  She’s been known to engage in random acts of kindness by giving away a book which contains all her secrets.  We think there’s a bigger organisation behind her.

Further information on the ‘magic’ book can be found here…

Do you run your own business - and could you learn a thing or two from your counterparts who have been there, done that and bought the t-shirt?

I undertook a survey of Entrepreneurs and small business owners, which has highlighted 25 key areas most businesses struggle with.  These range from getting to grips with social media, cash flow problems, leadership challenges, time management, networking and sales.  The results of the survey I have incorporated into a new e-book “Ultrapreneurs Unplugged - What They Don’t Tell You About Building A Successful Micro Business”

With the UK economy still in the grip of recession, more people are dipping their toes into entrepreneurial waters.

Small and Micro businesses are the lifeblood of the UK economy. The UK’s 3.7 million SMEs account for approximately 40% of our GDP and have an annual turnover of one trillion pounds.  Mostly formed by individuals who initially set up a business from their spare bedroom or garage.  However, this isn’t without its challenges, particularly for individuals who’ve left the corporate ladder, were made redundant, or budding ‘mumpreneurs’. 

Some joined the ranks of the self employed later in life.  Some left University because they didn’t warm to the idea of being an employee, or preferred self employment because they wanted the freedom to create their own destiny. They took this path because they didn’t fancy the alternatives – e.g. living on a meagre pension, settling for a mediocre lifestyle or compromising on their values. 

However, some had little or no experience of running a business before they started, and found the journey very complex – against the relentless pace of change - despite being an exciting and liberating experience.

Of course you might not need this information and are quite happy with the strategy that you’re using already.  You might not have the time to explore everything that’s contained within my new e-book called  “Ultrapreneurs Unplugged – What They Don’t Tell You About Building A Successful Micro Business”. 

But then again, if you’re the kind of person who’s willing to sit up and take notice of what’s going on around you, learn from other peoples mistakes and borrow some strategies from some very successful people, then you would do well to take a look at this bumper e-book packed with over 200 insights taken from the survey.

I also interviewed four successful entrepreneurs who share their experiences, including Philip Hess of Senz who even went as far as jumping out of an aeroplane to test one of his products!

I am keen to demonstrate that in fact many of the challenges faced by owners of Micro businesses are common - and and such should provide a bit of a shot in the arm for  anyone currently finding the journey a challenge.

The results of my survey could become an invaluable resource for anyone either considering making the move to self employment, or who has been on this journey for some time and would like a ‘fly on the wall’ look at what their counterparts are doing, borrow some of their strategies and learn a few new ones. 

Click here to find out more and download the report. 

This PDF document contains  nearly 100 pages of incredibly valuable material.

Warmest regards

Wendy Dashwood-Quick

Executive Coach

Resolution Coaching

P.S.  If you liked this blog posting then please feel free to tell a friend or Tweet it for me so that more people can benefit from this information.  Thank You

Or how not to handle your staff during a crisis

Before my car was stolen one freezing January afternoon, I had quite a lot of respect for one boss I used to work for.  I thought he was a fair minded, well balanced decent bloke.  But I was wrong.

The theft of my car meant that I had to get a lift home, I was extremely upset and of course I had no transport or means of getting to work.

The journey to work the next day took two train journeys plus it was the middle of winter, and minus 3 degrees.  Now for reasons known only to my boss, he chose to wait in his office for my arrival the next morning.

He confronted me in his office and asked me why I was late, and when I gave my reasons he read me the riot act and announced -  “I don’t care what’s going on in your personal life!  Your job is to get here for 8.30 in the morning.  Get yourself another car!” 

Of course I handled it beautifully – I completely lost it and accused him of being totally insensitive and thoughtless.  Then he marched me into my office  and told me to calm down while he went and called the HR Manager to convene a hastily arranged formal “warning”, saying that I was behaving like a ‘fish wife’ by ranting on at him.  Then he locked the door and didn’t come back for an hour!  A rather medieval approach to man management I thought.

I was baffled.  My boss was clearly off his rocker, but little did I realise that this was the beginning of a long campaign to bully me out of my job.  It would be a long and very tense 12 months as he pulled every trick out of the book to ‘engineer’ a reason to get me fired.  It was scarey.

With hindsight of course I have my own views on that, which I won’t share here, suffice it to say that I am surprised he’s still walking around.  And I definitely should have taken legal advice. 

But  my point here is that handling staff could for some managers be unchartered territory.  And in some situations you may find that any demonstration of emotion may be a bit scary and like a rebellion, must be crushed to a pulp immediately; because in some institutions emotion has no part to play in corporate life, as it’s seen as weakness and a threat to the status quo.

But the truth is, we are all human and sometimes “shit happens”.  But how do you handle someone who’s probably not operating at 100% because of one or two things going on in their life,  which could temporarily affect their performance or their attitude? 

Do you right them off and get rid of them asap?  What if you used another approach like coaching them?  Granted they might leave of their own accord because they are clearly in the wrong role; or  you could work on their training, performance and self development and thus turn them into a bit of a star.  The complete win/win.

Of course this may never happen to you, and your staff may never cause you any problems, but just in case they do here are a few guidelines:-

1. If a crisis has loomed in their life, first ask questions and get the facts about the situation
2. Be supportive and don’t make assumptions or judge them prematurely
3. Work at finding a solution by using proper protocols and staff grievance procedures
4. Be careful how you handle potentially sensitive or volatile situations, because  if things take a turn for the worse and your member of staff walks out – this could back fire badly on you later.  I was systematically bullied out of my job and received zero support from the management team.  I should have taken legal advice but chose not to.  If you are not following employment law guidelines or at the very least have taken some advice on HR/Health and Safety policies and procedures you could land in hot water.
5. Treat people with respect.  Handling staff can be really tough, but accept that people do make mistakes or go off the rails occasionally.  Think “the problem is the problem, not the person”
6. Think about providing some coaching or mentoring - so rather than trying to fix a ‘problem’ person - look at ways to enhance their performance and turn them into an asset rather than a liability
7. If a member of staff is experiencing temporary personal difficulties – (i.e. having their car stolen by a maverick ex-partner for instance) just let them go home and get themselves sorted out. 
8.  Trust that they will be thankful for your faith and belief in them and return the favour with loyalty and commitment

Now, unfortunately my boss  lost a golden opportunity to do the decent thing for another human being. 

Which is basically why I went into the coaching business.  At the end of the day performance and bad management is all down to the same thing – behaviour and how you handle the situation.  Think in every interaction with someone else you are always 51% responsible.  It’s a two way street.

I’m knee deep in creating a special report “The Accidental Entrepreneur -  200 things I wish I’d known when I started my business” which contains the results of a short survey of entrepreneurs and the challenges they have face when starting their businesses – which includes handling staff. 

Hear what they have to say when this is published next month.

Warmest regards

Wendy Dashwood-Quick

Has a good night’s sleep turned into a myth, is it a thing of the past or something that ‘other people’ have, but not you?   When WAS the last time you slept right through? And is this affecting your ability to be really effective in your job, your ability to make decisions and handle stressful situations…? 

 Well, if you’re struggling to find the answer I’ve been given some top Tips from Top Coach June Whittle.  Read on…

 You’d be surprised if I told you the most common method of dealing with sleeplessness. Most people who struggle to sleep have NO sleeping strategy. They do NOTHING about it and suffer daily. Let me share with you 5 top sleeping tips which will change your life forever.

 5 Top Sleep Tips

•  Be open-minded. Some of these tips might seem simple - even obvious. Have you tried them though? … Consistently? … Really?
• Remember ‘doing nothing’ is the most common attitude to sleepless nights! Do something - notice the difference!

1 . How do you ’signal’ to yourself that it’s time for sleep? Cultivate a consistent, calming bedtime routine. Give yourself time for reflection.  Focus on the good things in your life. Think of at least 3 good things that happened during the day - however small.

 2. How often do you exercise?  If you’re tired and haven’t been sleeping, I know that the last thing you want to hear about is exercise!! Studies show that sufferers of persistent fatigue benefit from low-intensity exercise like an easy walk.

 3. Do you listen to anything that will gently guide you to sleep? Buy, beg or borrow a relaxation or sleep CD for quick results - if you listen to it!! It helps you to ’switch off’ and drift into a soothing sleep. If your mind is buzzing and you can’t let go of all the thoughts whizzing around in your head, listen to it! Replace those thoughts! If you wake in the night and can’t get back to sleep - listen to the CD. My Sleep CD has a track to gently guide you to sleep when you go to bed AND a track to guide you back to sleep when you wake in the night. www.sleepless.zite.me

 4. What time do you close the kitchen? Avoid food and drink for at least 2 hours before you go to bed.

 5. Can you do this? Turn off the television and your mobile phone! Do it at 30 minutes before you go to bed. Exposure to the ‘talk’ mode signal of a phone has been found to delay the onset of sleep.

 Now, enjoy a good night’s sleep and notice the positive changes it brings to your life.    

June Whittle’s sleep CD will support you in your desire for a deep and beneficial night’s sleep.

Available from www.sleepless.zite.me

 Welcome

This Week’s Podcast “Turning Helplessness Into Power”

In this week’s Podcast I interview Debbie Neville of ‘PA Secretarial’ about a really simple technique that she has developed for instantly shifting her mindset when she is feeling less than resourceful - thus moving her from ‘helplessness into power’.

In this short 12 minute Podcast you will learn how this technique helps Debbie every day, whatever challenge she is currently facing, whether this is a minor or a major setback.

Click here to listen:

Powered by Podbean.com

Warmest Regards

Wendy Dashwood-Quick

Executive Coach and author of “Discover Yourself On the Yellow Brick Road - 7 Core Principles of Career Success”