I have a confession.  I really shot myself in the foot when I wrote a self development book for the British market; because let’s be honest, the majority of the UK population (unlike our American cousins) don’t ‘do’ self development.

That’s why we invented boxing, rugby and Millwall on a Saturday afternoon.

The British have their own version of self development which we call ‘the stiff upper lip’, the Charge of the Light Brigade, Polar Explorers and heroes courageously changing the world with one hand tied behind their back, and still home for tea at 5.00 o’clock; and all without breaking into a sweat! 

The stiff upper lip has been in our blood for centuries – but the big flaw in this strategy in this – it creates problems somewhere else, later on.

Take Queen Elizabeth I for example.  She led a nation, devoted herself to reform, had the mind of a political genius, and saw off The Spanish Armada. Even when hearing that her former lover and life long friend Rober Dudley – Earl of Leicester  had suddenly died – she sank to the stone floor of her bed chamber and lay there alone for three days and wept, and ate or drank nothing.

The average Brit doesn’t need any ‘help’ thanks.  Perhaps its centuries of invations, plagues and wars.

Even Brits abroad don’t really enjoy themselves – instead what do they do?  They end up having a punch up and get thrown into prison.  OK OK, not necessarily your Auty Sylvia, but I think you know what I mean.

So, why did I write a book for a nation that isn’t into navel gazing or introspection?  Talking to a ‘professional’ about your problems is something that we Brits don’t even tell the family cat about, and definitely not your best mates.

Whereas over the pond – nearly everyone has their own Coach, Psychotherapist, or Psychiatrist. 

Over here instead we do 20 pints of lager and a packet of crisps or ‘Retail therapy’.  But underneath the calm British cool; somewhere underneath the manic over achieving workaholic is something called ‘feelings’.

We’ve spent eons running away from our feelings and pretending everything’s absolutely okay in a kind of Monty Python comic way.

But eventually for some people their strategy for coping by NOT letting their feelings show will eventually become an even bigger problem.

The retail therapy leads to debt, the binge drinking leads to liver failure or obesity and the denial of what was once a young man’s dream soon turns into a life of meaningless compromise and a stomach ulcer.

So, I couldn’t write a book telling everyone to just be positive, when a millenia of conditioning has taught the British to be ready for the invasion, death, pestillence and the Blitz!  Being sensitive, tender and caring just isn’t the way its done.  It’s just not cricket is it Carstairs!?

So, I’ve gone via the back door and told three stories of  characters who aren’t having a great time, don’t wake up ready to hit the gym after they’ve drank a pint of pulped seaweed whilst reading that book about goal setting.

The average brit wants reality before they can get to believe that something good’s coming.  Which is precisely what my book is all about.

So, if you’re a Brit reading this and don’t do ‘Self Improvement’ and think its for softies.  Listen up - the people it’s written for aren’t soft.

They’re striving with everything they have – but have hit a brick wall whilst getting there.  That brick wall was created because of their own behaviour, programming and beliefs.  Sooner or later many of us face this challenge.  

However the characters in my book have decided to let their guard down just far enough to let some ideas through, which could in the end be the perfect antidote to their challenges; And in so doing end the pain, save them time, precious energy (and the occasional relationship) along the way and GET CONSCIOUS about what they’re doing – it might just be worth a look.

“Discover Yourself On the Yellow Brick Road” might sound like it’s a book for children - when actually it contains some real sensible, practical and inspirational stuff - and it’s one of the easiest and most straightforward books you will ever read.

Follow the link here to read a sample chapter…

This Week’s Podcast:  3 Keys To Persistence From Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid

Click Here Now To Listen To The Podcast:

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 Advice For Workaholic Adrenaline Junkies…

If your workload or career is pushing your stress levels through the roof, then what follows is a simple guide to how your brain works. I know because, being a borderline adrenaline junkie, I’ve had to learn some of
these strategies myself to stay balanced. Believe me,  beating stress is more about being a big kid…here’s why.

Do you remember when you were a child and the summer holidays seemed to last forever? You invented games to play from the most innocuous and mundane objects, which became holy shrines or magic keys. Drinks turned
you into a superhero. Up until the age of 10, that is.
That’s because before the age of 10, children primarily use the right hemisphere of their brain – the creative side. The creative right side of the brain produces Alpha waves, and when you meditate, your brain produces more Alpha waves. In Alpha we naturally have a better command of life, our health and our moods. We are able to think more clearly, can consider responses and perhaps make more creative decisions, with better longterm results. Alpha thought waves help us to access that part of the brain responsible for more enlightened, sophisticated thinking.

John Levine composes Alpha Music to help people relax and is used by Complementary Therapists to help their clients easily produce Alpha waves and therefore enter a deep state of relaxation very quickly. I was introduced to this music by a therapist friend, and regularly listen to
this when I am brainstorming, writing when relaxing or meditating. It’s extraordinarily serene. According to Levine research shows that when we’re in Alpha through to Theta (as we prepare to go to sleep), the brain also produces a number of chemical hormones which affect our mood, productivity and general health. Delta waves then take over as we fall into slow wave (deep sleep). However, after the age of 10 different brain waves take over – Beta waves. Beta waves vibrate at a higher frequency and are linked with the left logical side of the brain. Coincidentally this is when children move on to secondary school, where everything gets really ‘serious’. Gone are the lazy days spent fishing for newts and making mud pies (by the way if you didn’t made mud pies when you were a kid – you haven’t lived!). Now it’s all homework, course modules, mock exams, routines and remembering loads of facts – fun, eh? Leaving  precious little time for imaginative thinking, talking or creative pastimes, which could lead to stress.

Levine also discovered that although Beta waves are important, if this is the dominant thought wave, we remain hyped-up and stressed. So being in this state is not good long term. We are less likely to make rational choices and our responses are more primitive as higher thinking begins to shut down. However, some people appear to be born with a gift for increased Alpha wave production. Scientists have established that creative people operate in Alpha and Theta states far more frequently than the rest of us.

Eventually we leave school to start a career, with the accompanying train timetables, spreadsheets, passwords e-mails and compliance, etc. All logical left brain stuff and yet more Beta brain activity. In fact bringing your creative streak out in a work environment (in some organisations) is positively frowned upon and discouraged. Until, that is, you wake
up one morning and wonder why you haven’t a single scrap of innovation left in you. You can’t switch off because you’re so stressed-out having to reach all your ‘targets’. As Daniel Goleman in his book “Emotional
Intelligence” puts it “Stress Makes You Stupid”. With all that Beta brain activity going on, there’s just no inspiration or fun in your life any more. Using ‘Beta’ thought waves too often is like driving your car everywhere in first gear. Being grown up and serious has  actually become really stressful. All the routine, discipline and targets haven’t actually made you anymore effective or indeed any happier. Need I say more?

This is where you may become even less effective, shut off from the ‘source’ – the source being the pipeline leading directly to all new ideas and innovation: your creative right brain. Although it is important to point out that you need a good balance between the left and right sides.

“Experiments show that most children rank highly creative (right brain) before entering school. Because our educational systems place a higher value on left brain skills such as mathematics, logic and language than it does on drawing or using our imagination, only ten percent of these same children will rank highly creative by age 7. By the time we are adults,
high creativity remains in only 2 percent of the population.”
Dan Eden, Editor, Viewzone.com

Early signs of stress include being a bit tetchy, food cravings, mood swings, feeling extremely tired or hypedup leading to sleep problems caused by too much Beta brainwave activity and stress hormones racing around your bloodstream.

Long-term stress will have disastrous consequences for your health. As you get older, your body will find it harder and harder to cope and could be the reason why some people are struck down with chronic conditions
such as arthritis, chronic fatigue, IBS, High Pressure, and raised levels of cholesterol. The short-term solution is treatment with conventional drugs, when in fact the long term and ultimately the best solution is to
give your lifestyle a complete overhaul.

Not paying attention to your stress levels and lifestyle, affects your body, your energy levels, and your resistance to stress. Ultimately, your ability to rationalise and memorise, and your performance at work will suffer.

In this week’s Podcast Suzanne Bolwell-Davies from Flexible Hr Ltd and I are discussing  the real meaning of “The Jewel In the Nile“.    If  a coach ( i.e. a ‘Diamond polisher’) could walk into your life with the skill and the wisdom to guide you in the right direction, would that become a priceless opportunity?

I have put together a list of 50 reasons why coaching can help individuals who are finding their career too stressful, who have aspirations to aim higher but haven’t so far taken action, or who would love to discover just what they are destined to become.  As the character played by Danny Di Vito Discovered in this film, sometimes what you’re looking for isn’t necessarily the end of the story …

 Click Here To Listen (12.42 mins)

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Don’t talk about it – just take action – just do it, something, anything!!

Just had an update from one of my clients today on the progress he has made since he started coaching with me only one month ago. Here is what has changed for him since we started:-

1. He is less stressed and more relaxed
2. He has made some adjustments to his office space and is therefore more organised
3. He has started to delegate work to his staff, instead of taking it all on himself, and found someone to look after his diary and make all his appointments
4. He is thinking more proactively and less reactively
5. He is more confident in meetings and has a stronger belief in himself, and that decisions will go his way
6. He is handling the difficult people in his life more confidently
7. Because he has emptied some space in his head previously occupied by his overloaded schedule, he is now beginning to think about the future of his business and how to get there
8. He is making more executive decisions, rather than waiting for answers
9. His spouse has noticed a change in him and he is more communicative and therefore easier to be around
10. He is making things happen now that his mind isn’t cluttered with trivial annoyances

For the person who is currently stressed, going round in circles and feeling tired and tetchy – there is another way.

More strategies can be found in my new book “Discover Yourself On the Yellow Brick Road – 7 Core Principles of Success” published on Amazon on the 8th June.

Click here to read a sample chapter

http://www.myebook.com/index.php?option=ebook&id=7008

Visit my website at http://www.resolutioncoaching.co.uk