It was a prestigious event organised by the then PLA (Port Of London Authority), and as the evening wore on, it became clear that one club definitely had the edge over the competition and were on their way to glory – except that the fans of the opposing side had other ideas…

But the result would all come down to the last bout.

Despite most of the competitors hailing from very rough areas of London, I sat there awe struck – not just because they were all amazing physical specimens but because there was something else about them that really fascinated me. Their demeanour displayed such pride and confidence in themselves. They carried themselves like gods!

Both sides had hefty support in numbers, and as the final bout got underway the supporters became more vocal. It was when one side, sensing that their man might not take home the prize, that things turned ugly. Supporters from the losing camp completely lost their cool and rather than be sportsmanlike and adhere to the Marquess of Queensberry Rules, they took matters into their own hands. One threw a punch. Another got up and threw a chair. Then it was a table. With terrifying speed the whole place was in uproar and deteriorated into a mass brawl.

My boyfriend and I were pinned up against the side wall, but with the help of another spectator, he managed to deposit me onto the windowsill and out of harms way. So I stood and watched a whirlwind of bottles, fists and chairs flying around for 5 minutes. A frightening vortex of menace, blood and broken glass – until order was restored and the contest was awarded to the other side (who were going to win anyway, no surprises there).

It also takes your power away, and turns you into a victim rather than a victor and clouds your decision making. When the ‘red mist’ decends – it’s game over. But you can still stand head and shoulders over the competition even when you lose – because it’s how you handle the bad times as well as the good that counts. Because bad times are actually the training ground which provides the learning opportunities (masquerading as challenges) that prepare you for greatness!

Poor results are an opportunity to pause, reflect and examine where you might need to change your approach:-

• Disasters can be turned to your advantage if you look closely enough; to become incredible stories to share and inspire others.
  
• Disappointments could even opportunities to divert you onto a more profitable path
  
• Look for the positives in everything
  
• Conduct yourself like the winner everywhere you go even when things look bleak
  
• Be prepared to change directions, sometimes at short notice
  
• Gather a crowd of supporters around you who are with you through thick and think – not just when things are going well
  
• Give away praise and recognition to others even when there’s nothing in it for you

Need further inspiration? Download my free e-book “Ultrapreneurs Unplugged – What They Don’t Tell You About Building A Successful Micro Business” containing 96 pages of inspirational insights from entrepreneurs, interviews with successful entrepreneurs plus some useful tools and tips for the small business owner and entrepreneur.

Warmest regards

The new year is looming, and thousands of individuals are facing a career crisis, because either they haven’t got a job, their job is on the line or they just can’t stand their job any longer.

But faced with another 12 months of uncertainty in the economy – many people are reflecting on HOW they can change anything.  It’s easier to put up with what you’ve got isn’t it?  It may seem completely stupid to even contemplate changing career or looking for a new job now don’t you think?

But what if you’ve decided to take the plunge anyway – could you use something to give you some ideas as to how to do this?  Perhaps you know someone who’s job is in the doldrums and could use a bit of a kick start for the new year. 

Well look no further!  Welcome to “Discover Yourself On The Yellow Brick Road – 7 Core Principles of Career Success“.  Told through the eyes of three modern day heroes on their search for personal and professional fulfilment – this is a complete coaching programme which will benefit anyone facing change or who is looking for the courage to try something new.

This book changes lives!  And many people who’ve read it have found something within themselves to make the overdue changes that they needed before it was too late! 

Could this be a useful addition to your new year library?  Could this be an ideal Christmas present for a friend or family member for instance? 

Don’t wait any longer – this is probably the most comprehensive and cheapest way of finding career satisfaction brought together in one place.  One little book! 

“Brilliant, this book is great for anyone going through a big change like redundancy or even if you just want to re-evaluate your situation. Wendy’s writing is completely unique and her referrals to the characters in the Wizard of Oz communicates the point in a down to earth way with a touch of humour. Highly reccomended. “  Hayley Roy, Colchester

• Identify and celebrate your own uniqueness
• Smash through the glass ceiling and aim higher
• Package yourself to magnetically attract opportunities
• Power up your self-belief and create unwavering self confidence
• Clarify and strengthen your deepest values and purposes
• Programe your intuition to guide you in the right direction
• Stop following the herd and discover what success means to you
• Develop and work on your own personal success plan

Change won’t happen on it’s own …

Buy “Discover Yourself On the Yellow Brick Road” Today

Click here to buy on Amazon Today

Warmest Regards

Wendy Dashwood-Quick

“I have read so many self-help, motivational and coaching books during my career and it takes a lot these days for me to put my hands in my pocket and add to my book collection, but ‘Discover Yourself on the Yellow Brick’ road is brilliant.

Wendy’s easy style with valuable, punchy points coming at you thick and fast means that I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to make more sense of this amazing journey called life. Not only from a career perspective, but also for your personal development as well.” 

Gail Smirthwaite            , Yorkshire

“This book is excellent value for money. It is written in clear, understandable jargon-free English (not American), and employs helpful case examples to help one identify with the emotion being addressed. This book truly is a bible to personal and professional fulfilment. The author has also included hands-on exercises to assist the reader achieve his/her goals, and covers just about every aspect of the trials and tribulations that we humans encounter in every day life (e.g. love, values, aspirations, capabilities, attitude, and beliefs to name but a few). The author draws on proven NLP and EFT techniques in a non-technical and readable fashion, and interlaces these with humour thus rendering this little gem an easy and enjoyable read. For the price you will not find such good value for money, nor will you find such good advice. After you have finished reading the book you will find yourself picking it up again and again. Thoroughly recommended.”

M King – St Petersburg, Russia 

Or how not to handle your staff during a crisis

Before my car was stolen one freezing January afternoon, I had quite a lot of respect for one boss I used to work for.  I thought he was a fair minded, well balanced decent bloke.  But I was wrong.

The theft of my car meant that I had to get a lift home, I was extremely upset and of course I had no transport or means of getting to work.

The journey to work the next day took two train journeys plus it was the middle of winter, and minus 3 degrees.  Now for reasons known only to my boss, he chose to wait in his office for my arrival the next morning.

He confronted me in his office and asked me why I was late, and when I gave my reasons he read me the riot act and announced –  “I don’t care what’s going on in your personal life!  Your job is to get here for 8.30 in the morning.  Get yourself another car!” 

Of course I handled it beautifully – I completely lost it and accused him of being totally insensitive and thoughtless.  Then he marched me into my office  and told me to calm down while he went and called the HR Manager to convene a hastily arranged formal “warning”, saying that I was behaving like a ‘fish wife’ by ranting on at him.  Then he locked the door and didn’t come back for an hour!  A rather medieval approach to man management I thought.

I was baffled.  My boss was clearly off his rocker, but little did I realise that this was the beginning of a long campaign to bully me out of my job.  It would be a long and very tense 12 months as he pulled every trick out of the book to ‘engineer’ a reason to get me fired.  It was scarey.

With hindsight of course I have my own views on that, which I won’t share here, suffice it to say that I am surprised he’s still walking around.  And I definitely should have taken legal advice. 

But  my point here is that handling staff could for some managers be unchartered territory.  And in some situations you may find that any demonstration of emotion may be a bit scary and like a rebellion, must be crushed to a pulp immediately; because in some institutions emotion has no part to play in corporate life, as it’s seen as weakness and a threat to the status quo.

But the truth is, we are all human and sometimes “shit happens”.  But how do you handle someone who’s probably not operating at 100% because of one or two things going on in their life,  which could temporarily affect their performance or their attitude? 

Do you right them off and get rid of them asap?  What if you used another approach like coaching them?  Granted they might leave of their own accord because they are clearly in the wrong role; or  you could work on their training, performance and self development and thus turn them into a bit of a star.  The complete win/win.

Of course this may never happen to you, and your staff may never cause you any problems, but just in case they do here are a few guidelines:-

1. If a crisis has loomed in their life, first ask questions and get the facts about the situation
2. Be supportive and don’t make assumptions or judge them prematurely
3. Work at finding a solution by using proper protocols and staff grievance procedures
4. Be careful how you handle potentially sensitive or volatile situations, because  if things take a turn for the worse and your member of staff walks out – this could back fire badly on you later.  I was systematically bullied out of my job and received zero support from the management team.  I should have taken legal advice but chose not to.  If you are not following employment law guidelines or at the very least have taken some advice on HR/Health and Safety policies and procedures you could land in hot water.
5. Treat people with respect.  Handling staff can be really tough, but accept that people do make mistakes or go off the rails occasionally.  Think “the problem is the problem, not the person”
6. Think about providing some coaching or mentoring – so rather than trying to fix a ‘problem’ person – look at ways to enhance their performance and turn them into an asset rather than a liability
7. If a member of staff is experiencing temporary personal difficulties – (i.e. having their car stolen by a maverick ex-partner for instance) just let them go home and get themselves sorted out. 
8.  Trust that they will be thankful for your faith and belief in them and return the favour with loyalty and commitment

Now, unfortunately my boss  lost a golden opportunity to do the decent thing for another human being. 

Which is basically why I went into the coaching business.  At the end of the day performance and bad management is all down to the same thing – behaviour and how you handle the situation.  Think in every interaction with someone else you are always 51% responsible.  It’s a two way street.

I’m knee deep in creating a special report “The Accidental Entrepreneur -  200 things I wish I’d known when I started my business” which contains the results of a short survey of entrepreneurs and the challenges they have face when starting their businesses – which includes handling staff. 

Hear what they have to say when this is published next month.

Warmest regards

Wendy Dashwood-Quick

Focus Your Mind With A Ritual

When I was a teenager I went on a fruit picking holiday in Cambridgeshire, along with around 100 other students from all over the world.  It was  exhausting but hilarious.  The opportunity to meet people from different cultures was smashing;  including an Italian called Max.  Now he performed a very bizarre ritual every evening before he went to sleep, and of course the girls in our group were fascinated by him…

The male and female students were housed in separate accommodation blocks, and according to reports from the boys in our group, each evening before Max went to sleep he would stand at the foot of his bed with a dagger between his teeth and mutter something completely incomprehensible in Italian and then leap head first onto his bed.  The dagger was then ceremoniously placed under his pillow.    Some might say that he was suffering with a compulsive disorder of some description, or that he was slightly crazy.  But the girls in our group (of course) thought he was dead cool.  Although perhaps the boys thought he was far too racy for the delicate English roses in our party so we never did get a look at him (annoyingly).

But he definitely was a bit of a folk hero and one of the lads.  And of course he got landed with the nickname “Mad Max”.

Now I am not for one moment encouraging you to do something quite as eccentric as this, and there could well have been a very disturbing history behind Max’s behaviour.  However, sometimes rituals do have a very important part to play in some people’s lives, particularly if it helps to focus their minds, maintain discipline and keep their resolve. 

Some people practice Tai Chi every morning, chant, walk the dog, skip, or do 20 pressups.  Some sportsmen and women are quite obsessive about their sports kit and carry out a very meticulous routine or ritual before every match.   I once had a friend who would always wear the same socks, and prepare for a squash match in exactly the same way.  

Some rituals promote a feeling of calmness and wellbeing, and the production of seratonin in the brain which reduces stress as well as sharpening up the mind. 

I’ve been a cellist for the best part of 20 years, and before I perform in a concert I always wear the same dress, the same shoes, the same earings and have a very structured routine to prepare myself.  This helps me to get into ‘the zone’.  For me this is purely because the difference between a rehearsal and a concert ‘performance’ is that the music is played just once, and then that’s it!  If you miss your cue you can’t go back and do it again.  AND with some pieces of music you may not get to see or play that piece again for sometimes 10 years!  So you really don’t want to make a mistake or miss the moment.

So, over to you.  Do you have any rituals in your life that help focus your mind?   I know that working with a task list is something I can’t do without and if my desk gets too cluttered, I go into overwhelm. 

 How does having a ritual or a clear routine help you and what happens when you don’t bother with it?

Until next time

Happy Hunting

Wendy

Image Courtesy of Google Images 2009

 Welcome

This Week’s Podcast “Turning Helplessness Into Power”

In this week’s Podcast I interview Debbie Neville of ‘PA Secretarial’ about a really simple technique that she has developed for instantly shifting her mindset when she is feeling less than resourceful – thus moving her from ‘helplessness into power’.

In this short 12 minute Podcast you will learn how this technique helps Debbie every day, whatever challenge she is currently facing, whether this is a minor or a major setback.

Click here to listen:

Powered by Podbean.com

Warmest Regards

Wendy Dashwood-Quick

Executive Coach and author of “Discover Yourself On the Yellow Brick Road – 7 Core Principles of Career Success”

It appears that networking is something that many small business owners struggle with.  If we go into ‘sell’ mode straight off,  we could miss valuable opportunities, and alienate ourselves, because we’ve missed the point of what networking actually is.  Networking can help us to find our target audience, give other people the chance to get to know us and discover what our speciality is.  Not necessarily a reason to flog our stuff to anyone who is warm and has a pulse!

I conducted a survey of entrepreneurs this week, because I wanted to know the kind of challenges they face as I’d like to work with more of them.  And lo and behold, one of the topics that appeared consistently was networking, sales and marketing. 

Now, I’m not talking as a marketing genius, and I don’t claim to be a specialist in that area. However, the other day I was listening to one of Adam Urbanski’s (The Marketing Mentor) recordings from one of his marketing boot camps.   He was teaching a group of business owners about marketing.  He says that in order to get customers – first you need to let people know you exist , then develop a relationship with them before you start flogging your stuff.   

Then Adam said the following 5 words which made me laugh out loud. 

When you attend a networking meeting  “Don’t show up and throw up!” 

He doesn’t mean this literally of course (unlike the guest at the Christmas party I attended a few years who threw up over my shoes…)

But there seems in some quarters, a universal ignorance of certain rules of networking.  And what those new to it are completely unaware of. 

Picture the total stranger who literally pins you against the wall at the networking event, shoves their postcard under your nose and then proceeds to spend the next 40 minutes trying to persuade you to join their business opportunity, buy their particle accelerator or drones on about how “it does this, and that, and that and blah blah blah”  

Meanwhile you’re hoping that the fire alarm will go off, or that tall dark handsame man with the naughty grin will saunter over and grab your attention instead.  

But no, instead it’s chapter and verse from Mr or Mrs Serial Networker, until you’re ready to punch their lights out and you’d wished you’d gone to that other networking event on the other side of town.

Do show up but instead of regurgitating over your next victim try this:-

1. Ask a genuine question - and gather some information about that person and what they do.  Be curious – talk to them as if they were from Mars and you’ve never been there before and so you’re gathering vital information
2. Spend at least 10 minutes listening and acknowleding this fact by nodding and chipping in where appropriate with useful insights and observations – just ‘get out of the way’ and focus on them
3. Ask them some more questions and get them to elaborate if something  sparks your interest
4. Offer to help them if you can by sharing some of your expertise insights
5. Tell them what you do expressing the benefits of your product or service without boring the pants off ‘em
6. Most of us (as human beings) will know whether or not what we’ve said has made any lights go on in the other person’s head which could indicate signs of interest or curiosity.  If this has happened, they will shift their posture, move a little closer to you or their eyes will start to show that what you have said has found a familiar place in their mind
7. If the conversation is going well, and you’ve found a subject which is of mutual benefit then suggest you meet for a coffee

They will remember you as someone they might like to get to know better, who’s interested, interesting, genuine, likeable and helpful.  This creates what is technically known as ‘The Halo Effect’, i.e. a favourable lasting impression that will stay in their mind. 

Oh, by the way if you want to know what happened to the fella who chucked up over my shoes.  He wandered off into the night, got caught up in a pub brawl that had spilled out into the street.  The police arrived, he was arrested and spent the night in the police station (proof that there is a God!)

Happy Hunting!

Wendy Dashwood-Quick

Read this if you’ve ever spent days, weeks or months putting something off but are baffled as to why. 

I worked with a Coaching client this week who had been putting off doing any cold calling for weeks and weeks, but didn’t know why.  I helped him find a way around this challenge, rather than drive a truck through it.  So I thought it would be useful to share this with you.  

Click Below To Watch This Short 5 Minute Video 

Click Here to Find Out More About DISC and Download My Free Report “What Planet Are You On? – DISC The Secrets of the Universe And You”

I have a confession.  I really shot myself in the foot when I wrote a self development book for the British market; because let’s be honest, the majority of the UK population (unlike our American cousins) don’t ‘do’ self development.

That’s why we invented boxing, rugby and Millwall on a Saturday afternoon.

The British have their own version of self development which we call ‘the stiff upper lip’, the Charge of the Light Brigade, Polar Explorers and heroes courageously changing the world with one hand tied behind their back, and still home for tea at 5.00 o’clock; and all without breaking into a sweat! 

The stiff upper lip has been in our blood for centuries – but the big flaw in this strategy in this – it creates problems somewhere else, later on.

Take Queen Elizabeth I for example.  She led a nation, devoted herself to reform, had the mind of a political genius, and saw off The Spanish Armada. Even when hearing that her former lover and life long friend Rober Dudley – Earl of Leicester  had suddenly died – she sank to the stone floor of her bed chamber and lay there alone for three days and wept, and ate or drank nothing.

The average Brit doesn’t need any ‘help’ thanks.  Perhaps its centuries of invations, plagues and wars.

Even Brits abroad don’t really enjoy themselves – instead what do they do?  They end up having a punch up and get thrown into prison.  OK OK, not necessarily your Auty Sylvia, but I think you know what I mean.

So, why did I write a book for a nation that isn’t into navel gazing or introspection?  Talking to a ‘professional’ about your problems is something that we Brits don’t even tell the family cat about, and definitely not your best mates.

Whereas over the pond – nearly everyone has their own Coach, Psychotherapist, or Psychiatrist. 

Over here instead we do 20 pints of lager and a packet of crisps or ‘Retail therapy’.  But underneath the calm British cool; somewhere underneath the manic over achieving workaholic is something called ‘feelings’.

We’ve spent eons running away from our feelings and pretending everything’s absolutely okay in a kind of Monty Python comic way.

But eventually for some people their strategy for coping by NOT letting their feelings show will eventually become an even bigger problem.

The retail therapy leads to debt, the binge drinking leads to liver failure or obesity and the denial of what was once a young man’s dream soon turns into a life of meaningless compromise and a stomach ulcer.

So, I couldn’t write a book telling everyone to just be positive, when a millenia of conditioning has taught the British to be ready for the invasion, death, pestillence and the Blitz!  Being sensitive, tender and caring just isn’t the way its done.  It’s just not cricket is it Carstairs!?

So, I’ve gone via the back door and told three stories of  characters who aren’t having a great time, don’t wake up ready to hit the gym after they’ve drank a pint of pulped seaweed whilst reading that book about goal setting.

The average brit wants reality before they can get to believe that something good’s coming.  Which is precisely what my book is all about.

So, if you’re a Brit reading this and don’t do ‘Self Improvement’ and think its for softies.  Listen up - the people it’s written for aren’t soft.

They’re striving with everything they have – but have hit a brick wall whilst getting there.  That brick wall was created because of their own behaviour, programming and beliefs.  Sooner or later many of us face this challenge.  

However the characters in my book have decided to let their guard down just far enough to let some ideas through, which could in the end be the perfect antidote to their challenges; And in so doing end the pain, save them time, precious energy (and the occasional relationship) along the way and GET CONSCIOUS about what they’re doing – it might just be worth a look.

“Discover Yourself On the Yellow Brick Road” might sound like it’s a book for children - when actually it contains some real sensible, practical and inspirational stuff - and it’s one of the easiest and most straightforward books you will ever read.

Follow the link here to read a sample chapter…

When the CEO decided to allow the male employees of the company I worked for to participate in the annual girl’s Rounder’s tournament (because secretly he wanted to win) – this news was greeted very enthusiastically by the boys, who all rushed to join in.  The opportunity to show off, impress and compete was an chance not to pass up. 

As the captain I put together a team to enter the tournament; and eventually the talk in the pub at lunchtime turned to who had the best hand-eye coordination (i.e. could anyone ACTUALLY hit the ball?).

One chap confidently and  proudly informed us that at school he was a marvel and had no problems in despatching the ball into the next county, and was up for the challenge!

So we met up for our first practise session and our champion batsman stepped forth and prepared to bat, with me standing behind him as backstop.  Now, for that particular season we were fortunate that our bowler played at county level, and trained me to stand really close to the batsman so that if he or she missed the ball,  it would literally land straight into my hands.  However, she bowled so fast I had to wear padded gloves to cushion the impact. 

Our gallant Champion batsman stepped forth to prepare…and that was when I made a really big mistake.  I was so carried away by his past tales of glory that I forgot what my job was.  I forgot that the ball would be hurtling towards me at 90 mph, after it left the hands of our demon bowler.  Instead I was focussing on the bat.

The Demon bowler bowled – Batsman missed…and

Because I was looking at the BAT and NOT the BALL - the ball smacked me in the face full pelt.  I fell to the ground, saw stars and was convinced I’d gone blind, feeling really stupid and actually rather annoyed with him for not delivering the goods!

Who here can put their hand on their heart and honestly say that at some point whilst running their business they’ve never been approached by a wise man bearing gifts and been lured away from their core purpose?

 And did you discover months later that had you applied more effort and focus on what you were already doing, you’d have achieved far more instead of being distracted or seduced by something sparkly and new?

And did you feel angry at them for letting you down, and furious with yourself for taking your eye off the ball in the first place?

And did the reality of that hit you smack in the face with the realisation that you’d just wasted 6 months on a fruitless exercise?  What’s your experience and what did you do? 

Were you distracted by some inducement or get rich scheme which in fact wasn’t any better than what you were doing already? 

Relax, it’s happened to everyone.  And most of us are sadder and wiser after the event.

Here’s a top tip for next time you are faced with temptation to abandon what you’re doing in favour of something else.  Remember if you take on too much you are in danger of straying into Arthur Daley territory, galloping after the latest fad, whilst neglecting the one thing that you’d already invested a lot of time and energy in - and upon which is built your reputation.  Being a jack of all trades waters down your credibility and then others get confused about what you actually represent.  Your presence and power is diminished; because others will question what you STAND for.

If you’re in two minds about an enticing new opportunity - run the idea past your CORE PURPOSE first and ask yourself – is it the END RESULT that you’re chasing?  Does it fit with what you’re  already doing? Have you considered whether the vehicle you’ve chosen to move towards your objectives is the right one or if you’ll even enjoy the journey (and the view).

Your success is as a direct result of the choices you make – so take responsibility for the choice.  Sometimes there is merit in staying on target before you lose interest or momentum with what you are already doing; because you never know – the fire you’ve been nurturing and tending so patiently and diligently could eventually catch light…