If you’re looking for a new job, have been out of work for a while or have been on dozens of interviews – all to no avail, then here are a few reasons why you might not have been hired.  Granted we are in a recession and there are more candidates applying for the same vacancies, and employers can be a lot more choosey.  However, applying a few ground rules will hopefully stack the odds in your favour next time.  So don’t make these mistakes…

Wearing the wrong outfit

This includes (if you’re a woman), wearing a low cut top, or wearing a skirt that waaaay to short.  Wear clothes that are appropriate for the industry – but don’t go over the top.  Too much perfume can also be off putting.  The interviewer doesn’t want to be distracted by an overpowering aroma, or clothes that are a distraction.

Shabby Shoes

Always ensure that you are wearing shoes that have been cleaned and polished, and don’t need re-heeling.  Obviously wearing flip flops or motorcycle boots aren’t a good idea either, unless you’re going after a job as a life guard or motorcycle despatch rider…

Loud Jewellery

Of course you need to pay attention to what we call grooming, i.e. having accessories that compliment your outfit.  But large chunky rings, big earrings, nose  and lip piercings and cluncky bracelets are a distracting annoyance.  PLUS they could indicate that you aren’t really that serious about actually getting a job.  So tone it down a bit.

Not doing your research

Meaning, have you checked out the company that will be interviewing you?  It should only take a few minutes to find them on the internet and look into what they do and where they are located.  If you’ve demonstrated that you have done a bit of homework, it will impress the interviewer and show that you are interested in them. 

Being late

I remember being 20 minutes late for an interview which was being held in Oxford Street.  I ran into the interview, completely out of breath, and feeling really bad that I’d not timed my journey properly.  I then couldn’t find the offices where I was being interviewed.  Fortunately for me I must have done something right because they hired me on the spot!  However, being late is a really bad sign.  So always time your journey and if you experience any problems do phone the agency who recommended you, or the company where you are being interviewed, to let them know you will be late.

Nobody likes a wet fish! 

If you take nothing else away from this article – go and practice shaking hands.  A firm, genuine grip works best.  AND if you are a man shaking hands with a woman – take it from me – women do not like men who just briefly squeeze our fingers in a kind of half-hearted pathetic attempt at a handshake.  Women do know how to shake hands a well, just don’t be a wimp about it.

The CV From Hell

A badly written, scruffy CV which goes on for ages will never be read, and will never get you an interview.  There are a few simple rules here.  Print it on prestine clean paper, keep it short and to the point.  Add all the relevant information so that an employer knows how to get in touch with you.  Type it on white paper, with a regular font (i.e. Ariel, Verdana or Times New Roman).  Include bullet points to save space.  Include key areas where you have demonstrated expertise or a success.  Try and keep it to under 3 pages. Always  be able to demonstrate your areas of expertise when asked – e.g. some successes, where you’ve excelled and how you achived that. 

A Bad Attitude

I remember years ago I was helping out with some interviews for my then boss.  I offered one candidate a cup of tea and when my boss asked me to bring her into his office for the interviewed she then announced “when I’ve finished my tea”.  Remember to be polite and courteous at all times.  Say hello, smile and take the lead from the interviewer.  If you have to wait, smile and be patient.  When asked about your past experiences or why you left your previous job – don’t go on and on about how bad your last boss was or how badly you were treated.  Nobody likes to hire someone who has a massive chip on their shoulder.  A great attitude will nearly always make up for any shortcomings you may have – just show willing and be an approachable, reasonable person.

Use your common sense

I recall one boss I worked for used to joke about never hiring anyone who didn’t bring a biro with them.  One of my colleagues would ask his candidates to reassemble a set of occasional tables as a way of working their IQ (he did this just for a laugh).   Which means that at least give the impression that you are fairly clued in, so carry a pen, some form of ID and be up for the challenge!

Is that your phone ringing?

I think your worst nightmare is your phone ringing during an interview, worse than that is having a ring tone that sounds like Lady Gaga, but the fatal mistake would be actually answering it, OR carrying on a lengthy conversation.  You might think you’re important, you might think it looks clever, but take it from me.  It doesn’t.  Turn it off.  The only reason you should have your phone with you – is if there’s an emergency and you need to make a call, or you get lost and need directions, or if your car breaks down. 

Check your Social Media Profile

More and more employers these days are checking out potential clients on Social Media – i.e. Facebook and Linked In.  Make sure that all your relevant work experience is on Linked In – if you’re serious about getting THAT job – you MUST have a profile on Linked in and start to network online.  If you’ve got any dodgy photos on Facebook – lose them.  Nothing will destroy your reputation faster is some photo of you in a compromising position at the hen night, stag do or Christmas party.  Be sensible – or don’t share your photos with everyone. 

Looking like your cat just died

One team of executives I worked for used to ask me which candidate they hired after they’d done all the interviews.  9 times out of 10 I always picked the same person they interviewed.  I’m not sure if that says anything about my observation skills, but if you arrive at the interview with a face like thunder or that you’re really not happy then why should anyone give you a job?  Sure, yeah shit happens and we all have to do things under extreme pressure, but get over it and get on with it.  I heard one story about a guy who was homeless and was sleeping on the streets.  He had to change in the public toilets and hide his suitcase in reception when he went for interviews – but because he had the right attitude and was super keen – he got hired! 

Don’t be a smart arse

I remember one of my bosses was interviewing internally for a Project Manager.  One of my colleagues applied for the job – but he was ridiculously over confident.  His body language was so completely over the top it was hilarious.  He spent the whole interview sitting with his hands behind his head, leaning back in the chair as if to say “yeah, I could do this job standing on my head”.  His approach completely back-fired and what should have been a formality turned into a disaster.  Of course you need to look keen, but don’t over do it.  Sit leaning forward, make eye contact, smile, be yourself and look interested. 

Taking rejection really badly

Yes, not getting the job can be a body blow, but hounding your interviewer or demanding to know why you weren’t hired can be counter-productive.  Yes it helps to receive a letter to explain why you haven’t been hired, (or even just to let you know) but sometimes not all organisations are organised enough (or have the time) to tell every single person that they weren’t successful.  Take it on the chin, get over it and move onto the next job application.  It happens to everyone – don’t spend to long agonising over what you did or didn’t do, because the time spent on lamenting your loss is time you should be planning your next move.  Besides the job may have been offered internally, the chemistry was possibly wrong, you didn’t fit the criteria, or they didn’t like your shoes….

Listen Up!  Twitter’s Moved On But if you’ve not locked in your Twitter Strategy and are finding the whole thing perplexing, annoying or frustrating then you must register your place at this forthcoming Teleseminar with the UK’s Leading Twitter Expert

Title: “Why Twitter Isn’t Just About Cheese Sandwiches
Location: Small Business Teleclass – with Mark Shaw
Link out: Click here
Description: Mark Shaw is an award winning ex sales guy that advises and trains businesses, and individuals on how utilise Twitter to gain more business & to be effective with their time. Mark has been ranked as high as Number 3 in the UK &, Number 49 in the World for Twitter Elite & has approx 12,500 followers. He has been on radio, published in the media and given talks all throughout the UK in his capacity as an expert on Twitter.

On the call you will learn:
What is Twitter?

• Why should you bother with Twitter?
• What can you do with Twitter?
• How do you gather Information?
• What are the 4 R’S
• What are the 4 things you need to do to be successful with Twitter?
• What are the 3 things that you need to Tweet about?
• What results can be generated via Twitter?
• How can you increase website traffic with Twitter?
• Where should you spend most of your time on Twitter?

Start Time: 20.00
Date:   29th July 2010
End Time: 21.00

Big changes are on the way for regional development agencies, including Business Link, as detailed in this article.  Whilst I’m not about to devote this entire blog to negative comments about Business Link per se (especially as I value the mentoring and support I’ve received from my own adviser), I have come to the conclusion – along with 57% of people in a recent poll, that the general consensus is that scrapping the regional development agencies, will be, on the whole, beneficial to SME’s. 

Many SME’s have struggled to compete for contracts or have been edged out because they’ve come up against the same response from agencies funded by the government, when trying to promote their services to the public sector….”oh, the Government do a funded version of what you’re doing” or “we’ve got that covered” or “we’re already doing that in our XYZ SuperBloodyCleverBuzzWord Scheme”.

Personally, I spent 8 months collaborating with another small business on a programme, which was either stonewalled, ignored or when we did finally get in front of who we thought was the right person they ‘pointed’ us to yet another vague quango, purporting to provide what we were.  It transpired that their offering was vastly inferior to ours and had little or zero impact.  Of course there is the argument that with the funding being wiped out, it will have a negative impact on small businesses – but for a truly hungry entrepreneur I think it will only serve to make them raise their game.

You could even argue that we’ve been so bogged down by the bureaucratic sludge, that small businesses have forgotten how great they are and are settling for second best.  They could just turn around and say “hey let’s just talk and support EACH OTHER” instead.  For example, I had a very interesting conversation with an Inventor who’d received far more valuable support from his peers than any of the funded support he’d received anyway!

With this layer of funding disappearing, from my point of view this will give the private sector more opportunities, because it will level the playing field.  It could be a real shot in the arm for anyone who can spot an opportunity to introduce themselves and really make a name for themselves.  Unlike before when they couldn’t get their foot in the door.  With the shift away from the state control of more or less everything, we can breath.

My belief is that the business men and women of this country, whilst being in need of good advice and support – must know that there are plenty of extremely competent people available in the private sector with much to offer.  And the reason being is that they are ‘out there’ day in day out, striving for excellence at the cutting edge; not going to endless meetings, or sitting on panels and completely out of touch. 

Entrepreneurs and specialists should be demanding more; they should challenge more and make a lot more noise about what’s good advice and what isn’t.  If you demand excellence and are on a quest for constant improvement then you should demand this in those advising you surely!?  If you expect excellence in yourself and your business then this should be the norm in the support and resources you call on to achieve that.  Otherwise, there’s no point in it is there? 

What do you think?  Will these changes help you?   Will these changes actually make business men and women all over the land scan their own businesses, take stock and instead of settling for mediocrity – wake up tomorrow with an entirely new attitude with …

• The freedom to ask the best of themselves
• Listen to what’s actually going on in the real business world
• Get to grips with technology
• Work with someone who’s actually experienced the challenges that are being thrown you on a daily basis (New Media for starters!). 

My view (and please disagree if you feel like it) – is that to give cutting edge advice you have to BE at the cutting edge.  Thankfully these latest changes indicate that we’re beginning to catch up, but it’s long overdue. 

We need to demand more, challenge and ask questions of the agencies giving us advice – because the danger is that because we’re already out there solving these problems (because we HAVE to, to survive) – that we will in the end become more knowledgeable than government funded agencies put together to help us.  Are they already being left behind…? 

Now you don’t want out-moded, pointless advice that’s not relevant to your business do you?

I’ve just read what I’d hope was a simple and informative article about measuring the cost of Social Media.  Instead, I’m so incensed by it’s contents that here I am at 10.30 p.m. penning this Blog posting instead of getting to sleep!

Why? 

Well, the article was basically a list of keywords strung together.  There were so many that I completey forgot what the whole article was about!  Look – I understand that almost an entirely new language has sprung up around Social Media.  We talk about ROI, Engagement, Benchmarking, Platforms, blah blah blah.  You’d need a degree in IT to understand half of it. 

But my point is that not everyone who has dipped their toe in Social Media understands all the terminology.  And I actually think that there are a lot more of you out there than would admit it… wouldn’t you agree?  Because I think that many people think that a lot of the termonology  is frankly Bull shit.

I published a book last year (gratifyingly free of buzz words and jargon). Before my publishers would allow the book to go to print I had my work scrutinised to the enth degree first.  Having gone through that particular baptism of fire, I  understand most of the rules for writing articles.  But I confess I’m still learning.  I understand that it’s not necessarily all about me – but I need to be able to write in such a way that gets my message across.

According to The Plain English Society, if you spend more than an hour a day writing, you are to an extent a professional writier.  And if you like writing like I do it’s vital that you get it right.

I’m on a mission lately to help Small Businesses join the Social Media revolution – but a huge proportion of the businesses I speak to really struggle with it, and one of the reasons why is precisely because they don’t understand the lingo!  Much of the language has its roots in the IT and Consulting profession (which invented ‘Blue Sky Thinking’ by the way).  It’s OK if you actually work in the IT  industry and understand the jargon and buzz words, but  for some business men and women it’s  a real turn off.  All it does is create a yawning chasm between the gurus out there and the people who they are keen to educate.

For instance, a friend of mine used to play ’Buzz Word Bingo’ in a previous life in the corporate world. But she admitted that she can’t play that now because she doesn’t understand any Social Media terminology. So  she feels alienated and her enthusiasm for it is almost non-existent.  I think they have a new term for that these days - it’s called ’lack of engagement’.

But let me say here and now that we’re being encouraged to litter our articles with key words and phrases in order to be picked up by Google – but honestly the article I read the other day contained so many of them it competely detracted from their message.  They made no attempt whatsoever to tell a story and grab my attention.  It was frankly, annoying.

So, for those of you who are out there educating us hard working business owners, some of whom have  just arrived at the Social Media Station and are looking for a friendly guide to translate and introduce them to this new territory (without scaring them off) – 3 words of advice. Keep It Simple. It works for me, it works for my clients and possibly 99% of the business community.

It’s tough enough running a business without the added challenge of deciphering something that should be openly accessible to all.

But that’s enough of my rantings…do you agree or am i being overly harsh here?  Do you think I’ve gone off the deep end?  Or would you also like Plain English to play a part in Social (New) Media? 

Should the IT Mavens and Manderines (i.e. bloody clever bastards) come out of their ivory towers, and instead of the rest of us having to pretend that we know what they are on about – why don’t they just tell us what we all want to know, in a straightforward simple way?  Then we’d all be on a level playing field and irradicate the ridiculous elitist attitude which frankly, winds me up! 

Rant over. Peace and Love everyone!  But to prove my point I’m creating 20 Free Videos that explain Social Media in a really simple way. If you want someone to explain it to you in a language that you understand – then I believe you will find this an enjoyable experience where you will actually take away something useful to use, immediately.

They are out very soon, so to get advance notification of these when they are published click here and register. 

Warmest regards

Wendy

Are you an entrepreneur?  Do you believe that Social Media is an exciting new development that you’d like to adopt to help promote your small business?  Have you got all enthusiastic about it, but somehow haven’t quite got to grips with it yet?  And because of that has it become an annoying thorn in your side?  You’ve done a few ‘Tweets’ and dabbled with Facebook, but not much more.  You’re not really in the game?

There could be a very good reason for this as I will explain.  Because if you don’t know how to use the Social Media tools properly - you’re doomed. 

Let’s look to sport for the answer.  When I was a kid my dad bought me and my sisters a tennis racket each.  Now in those days only a select few kids at school were given the privelege of learning to play tennis.  In fact I never did work out what the criteria was for being selected – it was all very cloak and dagger.  So we didn’t get any lessons, and therefore we didn’t have the feintest idea how to play tennis.  We all loved it of course, and during Wimbledon fortnight we’d spend hours glued to the TV. 

But the fact that we didn’t know how to play tennis didn’t deter us at first.  We tried, and we tried.  We went over the park and played and when we visited our grandfather in Cambridge we took over the tennis courts at Jesus Green in front of his flat.  The trouble was that the rackets were made of wood, we were skinny little teenage girls who could barely hold them up, let alone serve the ball!  In fact when we played we spent more time retrieving the ball from outside the court than actually hitting it over the net.   And because we didn’t know how to grip the racket properly we’d regularly either hit ourselves over the head with it, bash our ankles or it would be hurled embarrassingly across the court.  

In the end we gave it up as a dead loss – but not before we found one hilarious and unorthodox use for our rackets.  

My mum had two apple trees in the garden, and every autumn we would be charged with picking up the windfalls; and we’d use the tennis rackets to launch the apples over the roof of the house! And to our joy, sometimes these apples never made it but instead were turned into cubes made possible  by this remarkable, make-shift food processor - a tennis racket. Deep joy! 

Which leads me to my point about Social Media.  What if you’ve stumbled upon this, or been urged by others to give it a go.  What if you’ve found Facebook, Twitter and Linked In and have made a stab at things, but you’ve failed to see ‘the point of it all’, or haven’t really made any real inroads with it and you are investing time doing something that, quite frankly, you don’t understand? 

Is this because you’ve got the tools – the tennis racket – but don’t actually know how to use it properly?  Of course you’re looking around at other businesses who are absolutely exploding with the use of Social media, i.e. blogging, Facebook, Video, Twitter, Linked In.  Some are making eye-popping fortunes online.  And you are left behind thinking “why can’t I do that?”  – “What’s the secret?!”

I believe that like sport, you need a bit of training, to learn from some experts.  You need invest some time, effort and dedication.  Failing that you need to hire someone who will run your Social Media programme for you.  But if you’ve not got the budget for it, what do you do instead?  Because if you’re only dabbling, fooling around with it without any clear direction or instruction – don’t bother because you’ll be wasting your time. 

Well, what’s been your experience?  Do you agree? 

Years ago I sat beneath the Lighthouse at Cape St Vincent in Portugal (the Southern most tip of Europe), eating a banana.  Myself and my 4 sisters were all sitting there watching the waves crash against the rocks.  When we’d finished eating we threw the banana skins over the cliffs hoping they would be swept away by the tide.  But the wind was so strong that it blew the banana skins back right into our hands.  Every time we did this, the banana skins would always fly back up.  It was hilarious! And was one of the most delightful experiences of my childhood.

Mistakes can be like these discarded banana skins.  Refusing to go away. But what if you are struggling to let go of the feelings associated with making a mistake?  Everything you tried wasn’t helping?  Problems like unfavourable feedback from one of your customers, not getting the contract, losing a member of staff, persistent technical problems or loss of important data or just saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.  We’ve all been there haven’t we? 

The thing about working for yourself, or running a small business is that disappointments and setbacks can be tough to recover from.  When you are part of a bigger organisation – the impact doesn’t hit home with quite as much force – it’s not you that’s affected – it’s the company, so it’s not personal. 

But when YOU ARE your company of course you have no choice but to run scenarios through your mind over and over and ask yourself after the event “What if I’d done that instead?” or “How did I let that happen?”, “I must have said the wrong thing“, or “They don’t like me“.  And because nobody else was there at the time to compare notes with – it’s hard to find the right person to offload onto who can help you talk it through.  If they weren’t there, how can they relate?  Or maybe the people around you have too much of their own stuff going on, or haven’t the time to listen in depth to you.

So, the setback never goes away.  And then you have another one and the same scenario repeats itself.  Until you have a pile of setbacks weighing you down, eating away at your self esteem. 

Some of these setbacks can be so major that they get in the way – big time!  Until that is, they turn into ruddy great road blocks that destroy your motivation altogether.  Logically you want them to go away, but positive thinking ain’t working.  I once knew a business owner whose only strategy for dealing with setbacks was to fire a member of staff! 

Then you lose interest, get discouraged and the enthusiasm you had for even the smallest task disappears.  The passion you had in the beginning starts to erode. Nothing gets done and the voices take over.  “I’m not good at this” “why am I even bothering?”. 

Well I have two solutions for you.  The first one is, to be honest, not to everyone’s taste and might seem a bit full-on and in your face.  But let’s give it a try.  It’s an NLP Mantra devised by Richard Bandler the Co-Creator of NLP.  He says that when you start down that road of feeling sorry for yourself and the self talk has turned very self distructive and negative, all you need to do is utter the following phrase…

Are you ready…?  Here it is…

“Shut The F*ck Up!”  yep.  That’s all. 

Just say that to yourself when you’re being less than nice to yourself.  I did say it was quite extreme.  But I bet you’re smiling aren’t you? This is a very simple strategy, just get over it and get on with it as soon as possible.

But if that doesn’t work the second strategy is a little more complex.  This is a technique that I bring out when all else fails.  I use this to help my clients get through a road block that just won’t budge.  We could talk about it for months of course – but you don’t have months do you?  You want to get going and be ‘up and at ‘em’ asap!  Because the world needs what you’ve got doesn’t it?  It therefore doesn’t need you to be languishing in self pity after a minor hiccup as temporarily short-circuited your progress. 

It’s a technique call EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and I am a specialist in this technique that I have been using for a few years to help people get over the things that they logically know they should be over, but just aren’t.  I’ve used this techniqe on all sorts of issues, from fear of preparing for Christmas, I’ve worked with a Falklands Veteran going through a severe anxiety attack, a Concert Pianist with performance nerves, plus I’ve used this with fear of flying or to resolve family feuds.

What strategies do you use to let go of past mistakes and move yourself on?

Share your ideas here.

Warmest regards

Wendy Dashwood-Quick

Have you pushed yourself so hard on the road to succcess that you are on the point of burning out? Have you experienced a health scare, but your lifestyle and way of doing things is so second nature, that you have no idea how you are going to change…?

Are you like Dan ‘Scarecrow’ Burnside who found himself at the Doctors one morning when he’d been given a wake up call?

He sat facing the locum at the Doctor’s Surgery. His usual GP was absent today, but the man sitting before him looked strangely familiar, in fact he was probably the happiest and jolliest Doctor he’d ever met in his life. He read the nameplate on the desk which read ‘Dr. M. Unchkin’. He was so short Dan could barely see him over the desk, as the Doctor read out the roll-call of stress related ailments that Dan was suffering with – IBS, High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol and he had recently added eczema and a stomach ulcer to the list.

Dan was constantly hyped-up and ‘wired’. Paradoxically however, he was very successful and actually thrived on stress until very recently. Because success came at a price. The trouble was there were only 24 hours in a day and he was constantly running around like a headless chicken. Dan worked extremely hard but he regularly missed meals, rarely took any time off and frequently over committed himself.

This was beginning to affect his health, his behaviour and his relationships. In fact, he had started to realise that if he didn’t stop and take stock, he would burn out altogether and his marriage would be in ruins. Dan was literally coming apart at the seams. His chaotic lifestyle was reflected in his out of control blond hair and appearance, even though he only wore the most expensive suits and bought ludicrously expensive shoes.

The Doctor continued, “Now, Mr Burnside, I’ve looked at your notes for the past six years and it’s becoming increasingly evident that it’s a lifestyle thing. You need to get a grip on your stress levels, because I’m not going to prescribe any more drugs. To be honest with you, they wouldn’t do you any favours anyway. “ “Oh,” thought Dan. “So what are you going to do for me instead?” he asked.  

• Dan had to admit that he struggled with his time management.

• He found it hard to delegate, ask for help and say no to anyone’s demands.

• He enjoyed taking on the whole world with one hand tied behind his back, and still be home in time for tea!

His success was reflected in the car, the bank account and the big house. However, he knew that he must learn to use his head to work out a new strategy otherwise he could lose everything, there wasn’t enough time to stop and think these days!

Find out what happens to Dan and what he did to change his lifestyle and improve his health in my new book “Discover Yourself On the Yellow Brick Road – 7 Core Principles of Career Success” click here to find out more…

“I have read so many self-help, motivational and coaching books during my career and it takes a lot these days for me to put my hands in my pocket and add to my book collection, but ‘Discover Yourself on the Yellow Brick’ road is brilliant. “  Gail Smirthwaite     – Golf Mind Guru

“In the busy world we live in where the ‘to do’ list is always way too ambitious this book really gives you a moment to take stock and really think. It asks questions that you may squirm at answering but it does genuinely give you a fresh insight into what makes you tick.

“For someone who rarely reads books like this it was like a stroll by the sea on a beautiful day – deeply satisfying, inspiring and invigorating.”

Gail Clark  - The Marketing Specialist 

What do you do with a client who doesn’t respect you, won’t acknowledge your e-mails, treats you like dirt and then refuses to discuss their issues with you?

You could of course get a gun out and shoot them [not recommended], and that might be going just a little too far (even though you might feel that’s the only solution when you’ve just taken another ear bashing or are reeling from the latest e-mail bombardment). 

Occasionally the person in a key decision-making role or at the helm of an organisation, sometimes forgets how important their behaviour is.  It is like they are immune and can do exactly what they like – leaving a trail of destruction and low morale in their wake.  Take the recent case of the Police Commander who was recently given a 4 year prison term for framing an innocent man over a personal dispute about money.  He used his position to bully and intimidate others, and in so doing turned himself into a ‘Criminal In Uniform’.

I find it strange that some highly intelligent people in positions of responsibility could be completely inept at dealing with other people, despite their credentials. 

It’s the ‘my way or the highway’ brigade; e.g. the senior manager who never sends an e-mail in their own name so that can’t be held responsible for any of their own decisions, the boss who’s fixated with digging up the shortcomings of their colleagues in an attempt to divert attention away from their own.  The key decision-maker unable to discuss any issues with their suppliers in a civilised manner, leading to a complete breakdown in communication. 

Meanwhile their colleagues and clients spend their time avoiding them, complying or ending up on long term sick leave because they feel powerless to do anything about it.  Occasionally these problems arise because the person in charge has a profile which doesn’t make them the best person to handle staff issues or talk to suppliers for example.  They should never have been given the responsibility of managing others. I’ve worked alongside more than one person who possessed technical brilliance, but were hopeless at handling staff issues.  And they were so out of touch, it took a staff crisis of mammoth proportions for them to acknowledge this and for the issue to be faced head on.

But what if you’re a supplier or business stuck with a toxic client who’s on a power trip, and feels the need to assert themselves and in so doing is using you as a punch bag?

• Firstly, even if it goes against the grain of “providing 100% customer satisfaction”,  make it your chief aim in life from now on, to get rid of them as a client.  The energy expanded in keeping them sweet just isn’t worth it.  It will wear you down and destroy your enthusiasm and confidence.
• Resolve not to get drawn into any petty mind games or fights.  Talk adult to adult and don’t fall for the parent/teacher control drama – some individuals relish humiliating others – don’t give an inch if you suspect that this is their game. 
• Remember, the only person you have any control over – is yourself.  Trying to appease or cater to the giant ego screaming down the phone will only make them grow stronger.  Focus on yourself and your response and what you value. If you know you’re doing a great job – keep reminding them of that. Stick to the facts as you find them.  If you start to make allowances in the beginning – what next?
• If a client is unable to express their concerns in an adult way – it’s their problem.  You don’t need those kind of clients because their toxic influence will eat away at you.
• Learn from the experience, i.e. the next time take time to explain to your clients what your terms of service are – e.g. incorporate regular reviews or face to face meetings.  Explain that you are in the business of building long term relationships and you encourage and expect your clients to be up front and honest about any issues.  You are not a mind reader and are always there to help when problems are brought to your attention early enough. 
• Follow your gut instinct.  If something doesn’t feel right about a client in the beginning – or they demonstrate bad behaviour – walk away.  Stand up for yourself and your values.  If you compromise right from the start you are setting yourself up for more problems later on.
• State your terms clearly in writing – so if they start to muck you around at least you’ve got some recourse should things turn nasty - tell them what their responsibilities as a client are.
• Make it clear that all your clients are happy with your terms as a rule, and remind them that it is actually OK for them to bring their concerns to your attention, because you pride yourself in delivering quality.  So, it’s actually in their interests to be honest and up front with you.
• Find out what their previous experiences of working with consultants or supplier has been like.  If they have any concerns arising from this, you can address any concerns up front and reassure them which in itself will go a long way to building trust and transparency. 

What has been your experience of dealing with toxic clients?  Did you do anything differently? What would you do if it happened to you?  Leave your comments below.

  

Image Courtesy of Flickr (c)

Ever heard that phrase – “pride goes before a fall”?  Meaning that sometimes we find it really difficult to admit that we’re wrong when in fact we should listen to our guides and mentors – people who are familiar with the terrain.  But there’s one thing worse that being too proud – it’s being ignorant of the facts upon which you can make an informed  and intelligent choice…

One of things that I have had to admit on my own personal entrepreneurial journey – is admitting that I don’t have all the answers; And in the beginning I definitely made loads of mistakes because I lacked skill in many areas – OK I will now hold my hand up and say that I lacked so many skills it was frightening! Even Peter Jones admits to being terrified when he started his business working from a tiny little office all on his own.

I made errors through ignorance of the facts. Deep down I knew this of course. But I was afraid to admit this and to ask for advice. I felt that if I admitted I didn’t know something that it would make me look stupid, and my crediblity would go out of the window.

The trouble with that approach of course is that mistakes could have fatal consequences for your business – loss of revenue could cause your business to bleed to death, your reputation could be scarred forever and ignorance also wastes loads of time.

 The problem with trying to do it all on your own (for fear of looking a failure) is that you make even more mistakes; it destroys your self confidence and creates anxiety which can paralyse your thinking.   You could be swimming in the ocean and dynamically interacting with lots of other fish, being dazzled by sea horses and rays, instead of being eaten alive by the sharks.  

Or if you choose to stay in your safe little pond where nothing much happens for instance,  you are in danger of  only hearing one voice – your own.   You may have control – but the scope for growth is almost non-existent. This could happen to you if you’ve made a good start with your business, but somewhere along the line, things have started to go wrong. The recession is a case in point; did it take a big bite out of your profits last year? 

If you’ve got a nagging feeling that thing’s just aren’t right, then it is important to notice this, pay attention and consider getting some mentoring or coaching.  Because if you are ignorant of a few things and aren’t prepared to do some investigation or get some feedback, you are leaving yourself open to random chance events, which could come out of the blue and might literally cost you an arm and a leg.

Could the shallow waters of the uninformed be a death trap?

Don’t make assumptions. You need to get real, bravely step forth and do something different, which will ultimately lead you to safer waters. In other words…don’t wait for change to be forced upon you, or wait for the next shark attack.  You need be proactive about things and be armed with the harpoon of knowledge and expertise, for your next fishing expedition. You must search for the tributary that leads to the ocean where bigger and more experienced fisherman are waiting to help you.

Fail fast, fail often and success cannot elude you…

Until next time

Warmest Regards

Wendy Dashwood-Quick