I am now into my 3rd year running my own business and I feel quite lucky that the internet and social media revolution has come about in time for my business to take advantage. If a sure if I was in my early twenties or thirties I’d be even more pleased. These 5 videos give a great broad flavour of what Social Media is and the impact it is having on our lives…

Is Social Media a Fad?

This video has over 1.5 million visits, and tells it how it is. It is already happening and it is impossible for anybody NOT to be effected by this movement. When watching this video, with the music, it gives you inspiration to find out more and not be left behind. WATCH IT NOW!

Social Media Experts

If you take Malcolm Gladwell’s definition of an expert (Outliers: The Story of Success) it is someone who has had 10,000 hours on the area they claim to be an expert in. He sites that Bill Gates had been programming nonstop for over 7 years BEFORE he started he own software company, Microsoft. For us mere mortals if you were to work 8 hours a day 5 days a week every week on something it would take you 4 years and 10 months to become an expert, and this is the bottom figure. Social Media, in the form most of us know it, has only been around for 3/4 years. Twitter is only 4 years old. So how many social media experts are there out these? This video by Chris Pirillo gives a fun and thought provoking look at Social Media.

Seth Godin on Social Media

Seth Godwin’s idea on all things marketing and permission marketing is legendary. Here he gives his take on email marketing and social media. In a very simple way he explains complex marketing techniques in everyday language that we all can understand.

Social Media and ROI

So social media is here to stay. SO WHAT!!! Will it make me any money? Is it about just feeding each other’s egos or hoping somebody is listening when we tell them what we are having for breakfast? This video by Socialnomics gives some great examples of companies who have invested in social media and showing some serious money. My take on social media as I mentioned in this blog is that it is a vehicle for communication, conversation and social interaction. What you say is up to you.

Barack OBAMA on Social Media

If you still need convincing the power of social media, then if this endorsement doesn’t do it, nothing will. Here Barack Obama talks about the role social media had to play, on him winning the Presidential election in the USA.

There are many more I could have chosen, however I hope these five give you a flavour of what social media is, and can give your business.

If you run a small business you need to know…

About the imminent arrival of the  Social Media Armada .  But unlike the Spanish Armada, you won’t need to walk the plank or talk like a pirate!  

Social Media Armada contains something to benefit every small business owner, who’s looking to generate more business using Social Media, but who currently finds the whole thing stressful, confusing or hasn’t got the time to learn it all.   

I am releasing 20 short Videos on Social Media.

The official launch date is Tuesday 14th September.  

The Social Media Armada is a flotilla of small bite sized videos packed with a ton of Social Media hints and tips.  If you are looking for some straightforward information to put you well on the path to understanding why you need Social Media, how to apply the principles, AND get to grips with the basics, whilst incorporating this within your marketing activities, then watch your inbox on the 14th September for the opportunity to view them. Each video is just 5 minutes long – but just long enough for you to absorb enough information to apply in your business immediately, but not too long that it’s too overwhelming.

Now, the best part of this is – all these videos are completely free!!

I’ve spent weeks drawing up the blueprints and creating these videos – so I will only make them available for 7 days before they are gone forever.  If you’d like to see them you need to register. 

To find out more and to register for immediate access to them at the launch, go here.  http://www.resolutioncoaching.co.uk/the-social-media-armada-is-coming/

Do you know what…with all the marketing techniques available to every small business owner, all the training, all the books and all the Gurus out there telling us what to do (and what not to do) to market our businesses; there is just one tiny problem. All the resources in the world, won’t overcome the fear of being in the limelight.

It’s the one thing that I think actually prevents small business men and women, really get to grips with sales and marketing. They know what they should be doing, they understand the strategy, they recognise that they need to market themselves and logically that its really important.  

But what do they do instead?  They tip-toe around the edges, spend loads of  time fine tuning certain aspects of their marketing (like their website, and their brochure or are obssessed with their business cards)…until it’s too late.  I know one person who spent 3 years on their website before launching it!!

But I am convinced that if you’ve never been in sales before, have never had to sell yourself before – that it doesn’t matter how many resources are thrown at you, how many manuals, books or CD’s or MP3 downloads you have. The fear of stepping up, stepping out and putting yourself, your products and your reputation on the line (with no safety net of a big corporate to clean up after you by the way) – can be a massive hurdle to overcome for some people.

Why is this?

I was listening to a superb teleclass given by Steve Chandler of Club Fearless.  He was answering a question sent in by a small business owner who wasn’t making any sales. They had a fabulous product, they loved what they did – but the fear of ‘getting out there’ was stalling their progress. They wanted to be successful – but it was such a big leap from being an inspired creative person – to turn themselves into a invincible, dynamic and fearless marketer who was prepared to throw themselves into the lions den to promote themselves, (and risk others saying that they hate their stuff).

So the answer to that challenge has to be in your own mind surely? I began to ask myself the question – what is the one thing that you need, to stand on the stage/sales platform with confidence (even if that platform is the phone,  the seminar, or the networking lunch meeting)?  

Isn’t sales like learning to swim, playing your first recorder solo at school, or reciting a poem in class? Some of us never ever get over that initial terror of being the one that everyone is looking at when it’s show time - Some people never have the guts to go for it. Whereas others just do it anyway, regardless of how scary it is. Some just keep having a go, until it gets easier, and easier and easier.  They are prepared to make an arse of themselves in the process. 

So, if that’s you and you’re sitting there with the realisation that “nobody’s coming” to rescue you and do your sales for you – what are your options? And when you think again “nobody’s going to even tell me the answer to that statement” – what do you do next?

Wait – you do have actually some options….what if you

• Took one small action today to move yourself forward
• Did something big today to move yourself forward
• Found a friendly audience

I remember turning up to give a talk to find a tiny audience waiting for me  - but then I thought “hey cool! I can practise  for the really big gig, with this little audience – it all helps!”.  Or the time when only one person turned up to my new networking group.  I thought to myself “Hey – cool – I get to make all the mistakes tonight and only one person will know. Fantastic!”.

So – if you’re thinking “It’s just me. Nobody’s coming”. Get over it and find the courage, borrow the strength, copy someone else’s strategy, pretend. Just find it from somewhere before it’s too late.

Tell me your experiences of getting over the fear of selling yourself.

You may (or may not) have come across the term “Social Proof” recently.  If you run a business you may already be into Social Media, and have done some study to learn a bit more. You will therefore be very familiar with the incredible power of Social Proof.  Because it can help to persuade more people to show interest in your products. 

Here’s a very simple way to describe what Social Proof is.

You’re sitting in a cafe about to order your lunch.  You can’t make up your mind what to have… ”shall I have the omelette, or shall I have the pasta??”.  You’re thinking of asking the person you are having lunch with, what they’re having.   Now, the process leading up to making the final choice can sometimes go on for ages.  This is because people don’t like to make a mistake. So we sometimes wait for others to make a choice before we make our own.  Or we might ask questions like “have you had the pasta here before?” – this serves to reassure ourselves that we’ve made the right decision.  

Anyway, you’re busy sitting there fretting over what to order when all of a sudden…

Now, what are your views on Social Proof ?  Share them here, it would be great to know! Thank You.
 

Want To Know More About The Social Media Surgery ?

Lesley Morrissey (Expert in Readability from www.lesleywriter.com) was our guest speaker at last week’s Social Media Surgery .  A very enthusiastic audience were treated to a content rich talk on how to make a website stick – e.g. which is interesting and engaging enough for visitors to stick around and find out more.  A few volunteers submitted their websites for Lesley to evaluate in detail, which produced a lively discussion and lots of ideas.

Here Is A Short Summary

• Make it easy for visitors to navigate around your website.  Whether you use a horizontal or vertical navigation bar -  group your pages under familiar titles, rather than making them wade through a huge list
• Before you write any copy, put yourself in your customers shoes – and find out what their pains, challenges and desires are
• Go for good copy – rather than a huge picture on your home page.  Google likes copy which will make your page more easily searchable.
• Don’t try and be too clever with your copy – i.e. with long sentences full of jargon, technical stuff or long words.  Don’t make visitors think to hard or your will lose them in seconds
• Don’t give your page titles weird names – use familiar terms that people routinely understand (i.e. Home, Contact Us, About Us, Events)
• Frequent use of CAPITAL LETTERS throughout your copy isn’t generally a good idea, as this makes it hard going for people reading it
• Good websites should be viewable in different browsers, smaller screens and even iphones
• Be careful with using the word ‘we’.  As Lesley put’s it “Don’t ‘we’ all over your copy” make liberal use of the word ‘you’ instead.
• If your web designer loves using Flash and has an urge to over design your site - this could turn people off
• For examples of websites that don’t work visit www.webpagesthatsuck.com
• Videos should be in the control of the person watching them and shouldn’t automatically load.  For instance, if you’re viewing a video at work and it automatically loads – it could cause embarrassment and attract unwanted attention.  This won’t make you flavour of the month
• Reassure visitors who provide personal information,  that you take their privacy seriously and aren’t about to randomly spam them at every opportunity.  Include a strong statement to this effect…e.g. “We hate spam as much as you do…”

More information can be found by downloading Lesley’s Comprehensive Report “Website Usability and Readability” Visit her website here www.lesleywriter.com

If you’ve not been to The Social Media Surgery – you are welcome to come along and see for yourself what we get up to!  Its an informal networking event where you get to meet other business owners AND learn something new each month about Social Media and the Technology that goes with it.

And…it’s free! (And we’ve got chocolate biscuits…!). 

Register here

Warmest regards

Wendy

How can you turn yourself from a virtual unknown into a great and powerful presence online? 

In this blog I am going to show you how you can borrow a strategy from horrible history, which will help you if you aspire to lead your own tribe, or followers in your particular industry.

A lot of people are fascinated by the darker side of history.  But although much of it is as far removed from modern life as it’s possible to get, it occurred to me the other day that Ancient Rome can teach us one key ingredient to becoming successful in any arena – particularly running a business, big or small.   

And this one crucial element  is so powerful that, once ignited, almost nothing will stand in its way. We’re talking about…

The power of Influence

When the famous Gladiator Maximus Decimus Meridius, stepped into the arena for the very last time – he had one thing on his side.  On his quest for revenge, ‘The Spaniard’ was very clear on his vision,  and despite having the odds stacked against him he used his contacts and ultimately his influence to achieve iconic status.

Massive crowds would be drawn to the Colosseum to watch the Gladiators clash in a fight to the death.  It was public entertainment on a bloody and visceral scale, and an accepted part of Roman culture.

There was a collective gruesome voyeurism about it (much like public executions in Britain) which temporarily welded people together, in such a way that normal folk forgot their own problems.  Because basically someone else was ‘for the chop’. 

Now, the point to all this is that men are no longer thrown to the lions, however human behaviour is basically pretty much exactly the same as it was back then.  So if you can influence the crowd you have a huge advantage – particularly in the Social Media arena.  

Our Gladiator was given probably the best piece of advice he would ever receive from his mentor…”Win the crowd – and you win your freedom”.  Yes I know it was just a film – but the story holds true…for all of us who yearn for success and the freedom to be their own person, on their own terms.  But few have the courage or the wits to achieve it.

Win the crowd and you win your freedom

Because once the crowd gets to  know you, they started to like you and then  follow you.  Then they will begin talking about you.  If you can create what Seth Godin calls a ‘Tribe’  = when what you say touches and connects with people – you have influence.

There’s nothing more compelling than a crowd of people seeing, hearing and experiencing something powerful together.  Which is the secret ingredient in being successful in most things, including Social Media.   And it’s how you build The Triangle of Trust, which, once formed, is very hard to break. 

So how can you bring a little bit ancient Rome into play here, and influence more people?

How can  you generate the same crowd surge to get people interested in your business for instance? 

• People love to gossip.  People love a spectacle.  This could be for several reasons, e.g. possibly to reassure themselves that it’s not them suffering any pain, or to relieve the tedium of their lives, or to look for inspiration and leadership in others.
• Human Beings are tribal.  Because people like to feel that they belong,they look to each other to see what their peers are doing and what choices they are making before they make their own choices.  With Social Media (with the use of the Facebook Like Button for instance) – it’s easy to see what choices others are making and what decisions they’ve made. 
• The majority of people want to be led and to look up to, and admire, their leaders.  So if you aspire to lead and be known by leveraging Social Media for instance,  start talking with conviction - stand up for what you believe in and bravely share your vision with the world. 
• You don’t have to be the CEO of General Motors to be a great role model.  So even if you come from Devon and make Ice Cream in your kitchen or knit cardigans  – everyone has a unique and compelling story to tell
• Today’s iconic leaders are unique, transparent and talk from a place of authenticity
• Share your story,your opinions and your unique take on the world on Twitter, Facebook and Linked In
• Find the hungry crowd online who wants what you’re promoting – put yourself in the right arena 
• Create a spectacle, an event, a ‘something’ that either makes individuals feel that they are in on something special or part of something innovative and unique.

For example the recent launch of the new iPad and iPhone is a really good example. 

So my question to you is – do you know who your hungry crowd is, where to find them and how you can begin to engage with them?  Tell us what you’re doing by leaving a comment below.

Big changes are on the way for regional development agencies, including Business Link, as detailed in this article.  Whilst I’m not about to devote this entire blog to negative comments about Business Link per se (especially as I value the mentoring and support I’ve received from my own adviser), I have come to the conclusion – along with 57% of people in a recent poll, that the general consensus is that scrapping the regional development agencies, will be, on the whole, beneficial to SME’s. 

Many SME’s have struggled to compete for contracts or have been edged out because they’ve come up against the same response from agencies funded by the government, when trying to promote their services to the public sector….”oh, the Government do a funded version of what you’re doing” or “we’ve got that covered” or “we’re already doing that in our XYZ SuperBloodyCleverBuzzWord Scheme”.

Personally, I spent 8 months collaborating with another small business on a programme, which was either stonewalled, ignored or when we did finally get in front of who we thought was the right person they ‘pointed’ us to yet another vague quango, purporting to provide what we were.  It transpired that their offering was vastly inferior to ours and had little or zero impact.  Of course there is the argument that with the funding being wiped out, it will have a negative impact on small businesses – but for a truly hungry entrepreneur I think it will only serve to make them raise their game.

You could even argue that we’ve been so bogged down by the bureaucratic sludge, that small businesses have forgotten how great they are and are settling for second best.  They could just turn around and say “hey let’s just talk and support EACH OTHER” instead.  For example, I had a very interesting conversation with an Inventor who’d received far more valuable support from his peers than any of the funded support he’d received anyway!

With this layer of funding disappearing, from my point of view this will give the private sector more opportunities, because it will level the playing field.  It could be a real shot in the arm for anyone who can spot an opportunity to introduce themselves and really make a name for themselves.  Unlike before when they couldn’t get their foot in the door.  With the shift away from the state control of more or less everything, we can breath.

My belief is that the business men and women of this country, whilst being in need of good advice and support – must know that there are plenty of extremely competent people available in the private sector with much to offer.  And the reason being is that they are ‘out there’ day in day out, striving for excellence at the cutting edge; not going to endless meetings, or sitting on panels and completely out of touch. 

Entrepreneurs and specialists should be demanding more; they should challenge more and make a lot more noise about what’s good advice and what isn’t.  If you demand excellence and are on a quest for constant improvement then you should demand this in those advising you surely!?  If you expect excellence in yourself and your business then this should be the norm in the support and resources you call on to achieve that.  Otherwise, there’s no point in it is there? 

What do you think?  Will these changes help you?   Will these changes actually make business men and women all over the land scan their own businesses, take stock and instead of settling for mediocrity – wake up tomorrow with an entirely new attitude with …

• The freedom to ask the best of themselves
• Listen to what’s actually going on in the real business world
• Get to grips with technology
• Work with someone who’s actually experienced the challenges that are being thrown you on a daily basis (New Media for starters!). 

My view (and please disagree if you feel like it) – is that to give cutting edge advice you have to BE at the cutting edge.  Thankfully these latest changes indicate that we’re beginning to catch up, but it’s long overdue. 

We need to demand more, challenge and ask questions of the agencies giving us advice – because the danger is that because we’re already out there solving these problems (because we HAVE to, to survive) – that we will in the end become more knowledgeable than government funded agencies put together to help us.  Are they already being left behind…? 

Now you don’t want out-moded, pointless advice that’s not relevant to your business do you?

Are you an entrepreneur?  Do you believe that Social Media is an exciting new development that you’d like to adopt to help promote your small business?  Have you got all enthusiastic about it, but somehow haven’t quite got to grips with it yet?  And because of that has it become an annoying thorn in your side?  You’ve done a few ‘Tweets’ and dabbled with Facebook, but not much more.  You’re not really in the game?

There could be a very good reason for this as I will explain.  Because if you don’t know how to use the Social Media tools properly - you’re doomed. 

Let’s look to sport for the answer.  When I was a kid my dad bought me and my sisters a tennis racket each.  Now in those days only a select few kids at school were given the privelege of learning to play tennis.  In fact I never did work out what the criteria was for being selected – it was all very cloak and dagger.  So we didn’t get any lessons, and therefore we didn’t have the feintest idea how to play tennis.  We all loved it of course, and during Wimbledon fortnight we’d spend hours glued to the TV. 

But the fact that we didn’t know how to play tennis didn’t deter us at first.  We tried, and we tried.  We went over the park and played and when we visited our grandfather in Cambridge we took over the tennis courts at Jesus Green in front of his flat.  The trouble was that the rackets were made of wood, we were skinny little teenage girls who could barely hold them up, let alone serve the ball!  In fact when we played we spent more time retrieving the ball from outside the court than actually hitting it over the net.   And because we didn’t know how to grip the racket properly we’d regularly either hit ourselves over the head with it, bash our ankles or it would be hurled embarrassingly across the court.  

In the end we gave it up as a dead loss – but not before we found one hilarious and unorthodox use for our rackets.  

My mum had two apple trees in the garden, and every autumn we would be charged with picking up the windfalls; and we’d use the tennis rackets to launch the apples over the roof of the house! And to our joy, sometimes these apples never made it but instead were turned into cubes made possible  by this remarkable, make-shift food processor - a tennis racket. Deep joy! 

Which leads me to my point about Social Media.  What if you’ve stumbled upon this, or been urged by others to give it a go.  What if you’ve found Facebook, Twitter and Linked In and have made a stab at things, but you’ve failed to see ‘the point of it all’, or haven’t really made any real inroads with it and you are investing time doing something that, quite frankly, you don’t understand? 

Is this because you’ve got the tools – the tennis racket – but don’t actually know how to use it properly?  Of course you’re looking around at other businesses who are absolutely exploding with the use of Social media, i.e. blogging, Facebook, Video, Twitter, Linked In.  Some are making eye-popping fortunes online.  And you are left behind thinking “why can’t I do that?”  – “What’s the secret?!”

I believe that like sport, you need a bit of training, to learn from some experts.  You need invest some time, effort and dedication.  Failing that you need to hire someone who will run your Social Media programme for you.  But if you’ve not got the budget for it, what do you do instead?  Because if you’re only dabbling, fooling around with it without any clear direction or instruction – don’t bother because you’ll be wasting your time. 

Well, what’s been your experience?  Do you agree? 

What do you do with a client who doesn’t respect you, won’t acknowledge your e-mails, treats you like dirt and then refuses to discuss their issues with you?

You could of course get a gun out and shoot them [not recommended], and that might be going just a little too far (even though you might feel that’s the only solution when you’ve just taken another ear bashing or are reeling from the latest e-mail bombardment). 

Occasionally the person in a key decision-making role or at the helm of an organisation, sometimes forgets how important their behaviour is.  It is like they are immune and can do exactly what they like – leaving a trail of destruction and low morale in their wake.  Take the recent case of the Police Commander who was recently given a 4 year prison term for framing an innocent man over a personal dispute about money.  He used his position to bully and intimidate others, and in so doing turned himself into a ‘Criminal In Uniform’.

I find it strange that some highly intelligent people in positions of responsibility could be completely inept at dealing with other people, despite their credentials. 

It’s the ‘my way or the highway’ brigade; e.g. the senior manager who never sends an e-mail in their own name so that can’t be held responsible for any of their own decisions, the boss who’s fixated with digging up the shortcomings of their colleagues in an attempt to divert attention away from their own.  The key decision-maker unable to discuss any issues with their suppliers in a civilised manner, leading to a complete breakdown in communication. 

Meanwhile their colleagues and clients spend their time avoiding them, complying or ending up on long term sick leave because they feel powerless to do anything about it.  Occasionally these problems arise because the person in charge has a profile which doesn’t make them the best person to handle staff issues or talk to suppliers for example.  They should never have been given the responsibility of managing others. I’ve worked alongside more than one person who possessed technical brilliance, but were hopeless at handling staff issues.  And they were so out of touch, it took a staff crisis of mammoth proportions for them to acknowledge this and for the issue to be faced head on.

But what if you’re a supplier or business stuck with a toxic client who’s on a power trip, and feels the need to assert themselves and in so doing is using you as a punch bag?

• Firstly, even if it goes against the grain of “providing 100% customer satisfaction”,  make it your chief aim in life from now on, to get rid of them as a client.  The energy expanded in keeping them sweet just isn’t worth it.  It will wear you down and destroy your enthusiasm and confidence.
• Resolve not to get drawn into any petty mind games or fights.  Talk adult to adult and don’t fall for the parent/teacher control drama – some individuals relish humiliating others – don’t give an inch if you suspect that this is their game. 
• Remember, the only person you have any control over – is yourself.  Trying to appease or cater to the giant ego screaming down the phone will only make them grow stronger.  Focus on yourself and your response and what you value. If you know you’re doing a great job – keep reminding them of that. Stick to the facts as you find them.  If you start to make allowances in the beginning – what next?
• If a client is unable to express their concerns in an adult way – it’s their problem.  You don’t need those kind of clients because their toxic influence will eat away at you.
• Learn from the experience, i.e. the next time take time to explain to your clients what your terms of service are – e.g. incorporate regular reviews or face to face meetings.  Explain that you are in the business of building long term relationships and you encourage and expect your clients to be up front and honest about any issues.  You are not a mind reader and are always there to help when problems are brought to your attention early enough. 
• Follow your gut instinct.  If something doesn’t feel right about a client in the beginning – or they demonstrate bad behaviour – walk away.  Stand up for yourself and your values.  If you compromise right from the start you are setting yourself up for more problems later on.
• State your terms clearly in writing – so if they start to muck you around at least you’ve got some recourse should things turn nasty - tell them what their responsibilities as a client are.
• Make it clear that all your clients are happy with your terms as a rule, and remind them that it is actually OK for them to bring their concerns to your attention, because you pride yourself in delivering quality.  So, it’s actually in their interests to be honest and up front with you.
• Find out what their previous experiences of working with consultants or supplier has been like.  If they have any concerns arising from this, you can address any concerns up front and reassure them which in itself will go a long way to building trust and transparency. 

What has been your experience of dealing with toxic clients?  Did you do anything differently? What would you do if it happened to you?  Leave your comments below.

 Or Are You Being Driven By Your Needs…?

I don’t care what anyone says, you may have qualifications coming out of your ears, you may have 20 years’ career experience behind you and an IQ of 160, but the fact remains that if you have unmet needs in your life these ould impede your progress, even without you realising it. These might be completely subconscious drivers, simmering away beneath the surface. This  will manifest in any number of ways. 

For instance, have you ever had conversation with someone who was really excited about something and were keen to share this with you.  But instead of feeling elated and pleased for them, you ended up resenting them?  Their good day was a trigger for you to have a bad one.  And then your day spiralled out of control as you grumpily drove to your next meeting, gesticulating at the driver who ‘cut you up’ at the traffic lights shouting crazily at them, “yeah, same to you – you **** Moron!!”

Unmet needs could include a need for security, love, friendship, power or control for instance.

But don’t get me wrong, I’m not necessary just talking in the negative here. A need might include a strong or adventurous creative streak, or a uuge interest in interacting and entertaining people, but your career might not provide any outlets for your this, leaving you feeling unfulfilled and bored.

Maybe you have a very precise and ordered mind, but the environment you work in doesn’t require those skills. You may be an absolute natural at attracting and engaging with your customers, but instead you’re stuck in the back office working on strategic planning and feel like a canary in a cage with it’s wings clipped. If there is no outlet for your inherent talents you may have to comply and adapt in order to fit in. But that’s like keeping the lid on a pressure cooker.

I fell into this trap many times, trying REALLY hard to get things right, when I should have said to myself “look Wendy, stop and think. Is this where your talents are best spent?” I’d grown tired of working for someone who’s keen eye for detail was driving me insane. And the harder I tried to be absolutely perfect the worse it got.  Being a people pleaser got me absolutely nowhere.

What I didn’t know was that actually had I been a little more self-aware and made the conscious choice to apply my natural gifts and transition into something else, I would have found myself effortlessly moving into ‘the zone’. I would have been less stressed and lacking in confidence, because once I’d identified something wasn’t quite I could then proactively take action . Which is why our emotions have a very important role to play here.

Sometimes we may experience negative feelings and assume that these must be suppressed at all costs because we fear failure or being exposed as falling short in some areas. Consequently our deepest needs stay buried for years, and our true potential never sees the light of day.

But what if you were to stop for a minute and acknowledge an uncomfortable feeling as a sign or a warning flag
that’s madly waving at you which says: “hello, pay attention, we’re trying to tell you something – you need to take some action here”.

Interestingly if you were unable to feel any emotion this would seriously impact on your ability to make decisions, which is why emotions are crucial guides in our decision-making process.

At this point, if you are a man reading this, the subject of emotions and feelings might possibly be enough to bring you out in a rash or make you run for the hills. That’s absolutely fine and I want to reassure you that this blog isn’t about getting in touch with your ‘feminine side’ or encouraging you to sit around in a circle singing sad songs with a tambourine.

However, the word ‘emotion’ doesn’t necessarily equate with weakness or failure.

Emotions are warning lights for us to act upon. Feelings of slight unease could deteriorate into bigger and more profound emotions when these flags are ignored or dismissed altogether. But living with feelings of regret and guilt for instance, have so little energy attached to them they achieve precisely nothing. So, if you bring your needs to work either because you aren’t working to your strengths or haven’t acknowledged that there’s something amiss, then you might engineer situations in order to satisfy them and get a quick fix instead, which is a short term strategy. If your career doesn’t provide you with an outlet for your natural talents and skills your progress up the ladder may be slow, especially if you either a) don’t recognise there is a problem or b) aren’t prepared to reflect on this or change direction to look for something more rewarding (because presumably you’re too busy being grumpy). The energy will have stalled and you won’t be in the flow.

A need may become a blind spot that you don’t even realise you have, although to other people it probably stands out a mile. This blind spot may manifest in any number of ways, to your detriment. For example, if you insist on your colleagues conforming to your methods (because your method works for you but not for them) others may resist you, argue with you, contradict you and then eventually fall out with you completely. For
instance, if you’re a big picture person but your superior is a lover of fine detail and they spent more time than is absolutely necessary pointing out the minor flaws in your plans, this may grate a little, leading to some frank
exchanges and major differences of opinion. And who’dbe right here? Is anyone ever absolutely right?

We can be quite territorial when it comes to our needs and go to extreme lengths to preserve our ‘patch’ and may expect other people to conform or tow the line to preserve the status quo.

Listen and pay attention to the signals you are receiving through your feelings and think about how you are currently dealing with them. Sometimes we deal with our needs in odd and not very logical ways. This is your subconscious mind, like a little kid brother or sister, desperately trying to make things right for you but without the benefit of experience or balanced rational thought.

More strategies like this can be found in my new book “Discover Yourself On The Yellow Brick Road – 7 Core Principles of Career Success”