Are You Constantly Overreacting? Mind the Gap …

How to stop saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Picture the following scenario . A young man picks his girlfriend up in his new car to take her to the beach with the intention of asking her to marry him. She spends the entire journey going on and on about how she hates his new car, and how could he even think of buying it. On and on she rants, behaving in a very petulant and childish manner. When they arrive at the beach, he stops the car, switches off the ignition, turns to her and says “but that’s not the surprise…”

If you’re stuck in a frame of mind where you know you’re not really handling something very well - Mind the Gap.

 
Let me explain.
Anyone who’s ever travelled on the London Underground, will know that when a train arrives at the station, there is a gap between the train and the platform.
Just before the doors open, a voice on the PA system usually announces: “Mind the gap between the train and the platform as you leave the train”. This gap is about 10 inches wide, and we are warned to take care, so that we don’t get a foot stuck or drop anything onto the track below. At nearly every station you hear this announcement and in some stations, it’s even written on the platform next to the thick yellow line painted on the platform. So at the point between alighting from the train and stepping onto the platform (or vice versa) you are warned to pay particular attention to what you are doing when getting off the train. You have to think about it. For a couple of seconds you are focussing your attention on “oh, yes there’s a gap, must be careful”.
I use this analogy to bring your attention to the consequences of your behaviour. You have a choice as to your response in every situation. Because in most cases all you are doing is repeating a ‘learned response’, e.g. going off in a huff, sulking, saying things like “you always do that” or “why do you never listen?” or “and remember the last time” or “whatever”. However all behaviour can be unlearned and changed because it is essentially a choice.
So the next time you’re tempted to jump in and blurt out the wrong thing, only to regret it later, remember…mind the gap.