Small Business “How To Deal With Toxic Clients”

What do you do with a client who doesn’t respect you, won’t acknowledge your e-mails, treats you like dirt and then refuses to discuss their issues with you?

You could of course get a gun out and shoot them [not recommended], and that might be going just a little too far (even though you might feel that’s the only solution when you’ve just taken another ear bashing or are reeling from the latest e-mail bombardment). 

Occasionally the person in a key decision-making role or at the helm of an organisation, sometimes forgets how important their behaviour is.  It is like they are immune and can do exactly what they like – leaving a trail of destruction and low morale in their wake.  Take the recent case of the Police Commander who was recently given a 4 year prison term for framing an innocent man over a personal dispute about money.  He used his position to bully and intimidate others, and in so doing turned himself into a ‘Criminal In Uniform’.

I find it strange that some highly intelligent people in positions of responsibility could be completely inept at dealing with other people, despite their credentials. 

It’s the ‘my way or the highway’ brigade; e.g. the senior manager who never sends an e-mail in their own name so that can’t be held responsible for any of their own decisions, the boss who’s fixated with digging up the shortcomings of their colleagues in an attempt to divert attention away from their own.  The key decision-maker unable to discuss any issues with their suppliers in a civilised manner, leading to a complete breakdown in communication. 

Meanwhile their colleagues and clients spend their time avoiding them, complying or ending up on long term sick leave because they feel powerless to do anything about it.  Occasionally these problems arise because the person in charge has a profile which doesn’t make them the best person to handle staff issues or talk to suppliers for example.  They should never have been given the responsibility of managing others. I’ve worked alongside more than one person who possessed technical brilliance, but were hopeless at handling staff issues.  And they were so out of touch, it took a staff crisis of mammoth proportions for them to acknowledge this and for the issue to be faced head on.

But what if you’re a supplier or business stuck with a toxic client who’s on a power trip, and feels the need to assert themselves and in so doing is using you as a punch bag?

• Firstly, even if it goes against the grain of “providing 100% customer satisfaction”,  make it your chief aim in life from now on, to get rid of them as a client.  The energy expanded in keeping them sweet just isn’t worth it.  It will wear you down and destroy your enthusiasm and confidence.
• Resolve not to get drawn into any petty mind games or fights.  Talk adult to adult and don’t fall for the parent/teacher control drama – some individuals relish humiliating others – don’t give an inch if you suspect that this is their game. 
• Remember, the only person you have any control over – is yourself.  Trying to appease or cater to the giant ego screaming down the phone will only make them grow stronger.  Focus on yourself and your response and what you value. If you know you’re doing a great job – keep reminding them of that. Stick to the facts as you find them.  If you start to make allowances in the beginning – what next?
• If a client is unable to express their concerns in an adult way – it’s their problem.  You don’t need those kind of clients because their toxic influence will eat away at you.
• Learn from the experience, i.e. the next time take time to explain to your clients what your terms of service are – e.g. incorporate regular reviews or face to face meetings.  Explain that you are in the business of building long term relationships and you encourage and expect your clients to be up front and honest about any issues.  You are not a mind reader and are always there to help when problems are brought to your attention early enough. 
• Follow your gut instinct.  If something doesn’t feel right about a client in the beginning – or they demonstrate bad behaviour – walk away.  Stand up for yourself and your values.  If you compromise right from the start you are setting yourself up for more problems later on.
• State your terms clearly in writing – so if they start to muck you around at least you’ve got some recourse should things turn nasty - tell them what their responsibilities as a client are.
• Make it clear that all your clients are happy with your terms as a rule, and remind them that it is actually OK for them to bring their concerns to your attention, because you pride yourself in delivering quality.  So, it’s actually in their interests to be honest and up front with you.
• Find out what their previous experiences of working with consultants or supplier has been like.  If they have any concerns arising from this, you can address any concerns up front and reassure them which in itself will go a long way to building trust and transparency. 

What has been your experience of dealing with toxic clients?  Did you do anything differently? What would you do if it happened to you?  Leave your comments below.