Entrepreneurs – Don’t Let A Mistake Ruin Your Day

Years ago I sat beneath the Lighthouse at Cape St Vincent in Portugal (the Southern most tip of Europe), eating a banana.  Myself and my 4 sisters were all sitting there watching the waves crash against the rocks.  When we’d finished eating we threw the banana skins over the cliffs hoping they would be swept away by the tide.  But the wind was so strong that it blew the banana skins back right into our hands.  Every time we did this, the banana skins would always fly back up.  It was hilarious! And was one of the most delightful experiences of my childhood.

Mistakes can be like these discarded banana skins.  Refusing to go away. But what if you are struggling to let go of the feelings associated with making a mistake?  Everything you tried wasn’t helping?  Problems like unfavourable feedback from one of your customers, not getting the contract, losing a member of staff, persistent technical problems or loss of important data or just saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.  We’ve all been there haven’t we? 

The thing about working for yourself, or running a small business is that disappointments and setbacks can be tough to recover from.  When you are part of a bigger organisation – the impact doesn’t hit home with quite as much force – it’s not you that’s affected – it’s the company, so it’s not personal. 

But when YOU ARE your company of course you have no choice but to run scenarios through your mind over and over and ask yourself after the event “What if I’d done that instead?” or “How did I let that happen?”, “I must have said the wrong thing“, or “They don’t like me“.  And because nobody else was there at the time to compare notes with – it’s hard to find the right person to offload onto who can help you talk it through.  If they weren’t there, how can they relate?  Or maybe the people around you have too much of their own stuff going on, or haven’t the time to listen in depth to you.

So, the setback never goes away.  And then you have another one and the same scenario repeats itself.  Until you have a pile of setbacks weighing you down, eating away at your self esteem. 

Some of these setbacks can be so major that they get in the way – big time!  Until that is, they turn into ruddy great road blocks that destroy your motivation altogether.  Logically you want them to go away, but positive thinking ain’t working.  I once knew a business owner whose only strategy for dealing with setbacks was to fire a member of staff! 

Then you lose interest, get discouraged and the enthusiasm you had for even the smallest task disappears.  The passion you had in the beginning starts to erode. Nothing gets done and the voices take over.  “I’m not good at this” “why am I even bothering?”. 

Well I have two solutions for you.  The first one is, to be honest, not to everyone’s taste and might seem a bit full-on and in your face.  But let’s give it a try.  It’s an NLP Mantra devised by Richard Bandler the Co-Creator of NLP.  He says that when you start down that road of feeling sorry for yourself and the self talk has turned very self distructive and negative, all you need to do is utter the following phrase…

Are you ready…?  Here it is…

“Shut The F*ck Up!”  yep.  That’s all. 

Just say that to yourself when you’re being less than nice to yourself.  I did say it was quite extreme.  But I bet you’re smiling aren’t you? This is a very simple strategy, just get over it and get on with it as soon as possible.

But if that doesn’t work the second strategy is a little more complex.  This is a technique that I bring out when all else fails.  I use this to help my clients get through a road block that just won’t budge.  We could talk about it for months of course – but you don’t have months do you?  You want to get going and be ‘up and at ‘em’ asap!  Because the world needs what you’ve got doesn’t it?  It therefore doesn’t need you to be languishing in self pity after a minor hiccup as temporarily short-circuited your progress. 

It’s a technique call EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and I am a specialist in this technique that I have been using for a few years to help people get over the things that they logically know they should be over, but just aren’t.  I’ve used this techniqe on all sorts of issues, from fear of preparing for Christmas, I’ve worked with a Falklands Veteran going through a severe anxiety attack, a Concert Pianist with performance nerves, plus I’ve used this with fear of flying or to resolve family feuds.

What strategies do you use to let go of past mistakes and move yourself on?

Share your ideas here.

Warmest regards

Wendy Dashwood-Quick