“How Fast Would You Like Your No?” Advice For A Hare Selling To A Tortoise

Have you ever considered buying something, but the person selling to you was just too bloody clever or pushy for their own good and ruined the whole experience? 

Or were you trying to sell to someone and they were resisting everything you said, and was it like wading through treacle?

 Welcome to the Hare trying to sell to the Tortoise.

In this blog I’m going to share with you a way for both of these creatures to get on a lot better and generate a good outcome for both of them.

Because if they’re singing from different song sheets – neither of them will reach any consensus. 

And what if your office is full of tortoises and you’ve been landed with the task of managing them?

 What if you’re a Tortoise and your boss is a Hare?

Firstly, let’s define our Tortoise.  To a Hare they’ll appear pedantic and slow whereas a Toitoise would call themselves ‘careful, thanks very much’.

A Hare would come across to a Tortoise as pushy and ‘in your face’ – but would call themselves “actually I’m just enthusiastic” 

Can you see already that they’re talking different languages and have begun to be quite territorial about their position?  They will both try and grab the flag and claim the higher ground (“I’m right!”) –  in a fruitless attempt to win the battle, but are doomed to lose the war.  In a marriage they could literally spend the rest of their lives trying to ‘convert’ the other round to their way of seeing the world – with the same failed outcome.  Which, by the way might explain that age old cliche “my wife just doesn’t understand me…”

The Hare in charge of a Tortoise will use phrases to describe their friend such as  “obstinate, closed, infuriating, picky” whereas in the eyes of a Tortoise the Hare could come across as “pushy, flash, insincere and glib” – words that wouldn’t feature in Tortoise language – ever.

Do you further see that the relationship between these two characters could deteriorate into a stalemate, stonewalling or power struggle?  And even worse than that, if the number of Tortoises outnumbers the Hare – the Hare could end up being ostracised or made to feel ‘different’ because the Tortoises could make massive assumptions about the behaviour of the Hare – because they will apply their own rules.  But that’s like trying to force a piece of jigsaw into the wrong place. 

To a tortoise – rushing around and enthusiastically making friends with complete strangers (shock horror) and making instant decisions, isn’t the ‘Tortoise Way’.  Tortoises are more likely to be heard saying ‘this isn’t the way things are done around here’ – particularly when a new broom in the shape of Mr Hare turns up to shake things up a bit!! Just too racy for words!!

Trouble is, when change is in the air do you want a Tortoise in charge, or a Hare…?  And when running a business who would be best placed to respond quickly to changing circumstances?

I could even go as far as to say that you could apply this analogy to organisations…moving to slowly to catch the wave or change, or running after the next new fad far too quickly…

But on a persona level how do these two learn to co-exist with each other and even go on to build a beautiful friendship? 

 Top Tips for Hares Interacting with Tortoises:

1. Slow down and remember that Tortoises will need time to proces the dazzling news that you’ve just offloaded.  Giving them the news at 100 mph will just turn them off
2. Recognise that the Tortoise works at a different speed – they really can’t help being like that and they’re not doing it on purpose. 
3. Don’t become impatient but provide the information they need
4. Respect the fact that the Tortoise’s grasp of a concept or idea may take longer to process than yours.  So if you’re feeling frustrated because they haven’t grasped your vision as quickly as you have, just take a deep breath and go for a walk around the block or do something else until they come round with a curious look to say “you know what you were saying earlier…?”  Amen.

 Top Tips for Tortoises Interacting with Hares

1. Be direct in your approach and don’t go all round the houses
2. Don’t be too negative
3. Stand up for yourself and speak your mind, but don’t repeat yourself – or go into too much detail.  Sometimes too much information will make them lose interest (or the will to live)
4. Be aware that if you’re keen to point out all the faults in their recommendations; to them that’s like pouring cold water over their dreams.  Explain why.

Look at each other and actively seek out your strengths.  Rather than trying to force on a shoe that doesn’t fit, agree which roles and responsibilities you will each take on based on those strengths.  For instance, in a team the Tortoise could take care of the planning and organisation responsibilities, and the Hare will deliver the presentation and act as the troubleshooter.  In a salesd relationship a Hare could come over the fence to share the Tortoises philosophy and offer more information, more time and help them to get to the right conclusion, without pushing them too far.  Here it does pay to be more sensitive and intuitive in your approach.

 To conclude:

If you’re the kind of person that has to do things at full pelt, but everyone around you seems to be so laid back they’re almost asleep; don’t waste time getting frustrated, cultivate a good-humoured appreciation of their diligence and steadiness. You may come to rely on that one day.

If you’re used to being even paced and ‘sure’ but suddenly you’re got a firebrand in the family or the office – give them room to breath, let them lead and fuel their fire rather than expending energy trying to put the fire out, because trying to coerce, crush or change someone else will be a pointless waste of time.